What if?.....Middle Earth meets HP

[ValaSarah]

Ok,

In my infinite pregnancy mind, I've been thinking lately of humorous one (or two) liners of interaction between LOTR characters and Harry Potter Characters.

I know the "magic" in both is incredibly different, but I find sometimes that things can be humerous, especially when comparing the two worlds.

I know I'm mixing a dangerous brew, but I can't be the only one who enjoys these things.

So....to begin the fun, I'll start out w/ one I was thinking of this morning for Fair Legolas....

Legolas meets Dobby for the first time, sees his horrible pot warmer hat and his mismatched socks, not to mention his huge eyes, big ears, and short stature....

Legolas: "And they call YOU an Elf? Oh Eru!"

~Vala

[Fleurdelacour]

LOL! That's hilarious :D I was actually thinking the same thing, if Dobby met Legolas and vice-versa...

I'm still reading fotr (still on the CoE chapter.... Beautifully, written, but very long ;) ) so I can't think of anymore, and I've forgotton most hp characters....

:o

[Colli]

:D That's hilarious. Too tired to think of one right now, but I'll be back. :p

[ValaSarah]

Thanks for the happy responses.

I was thinking of another one today:

:)

HP Mountain troll meets LOTR Cavetroll:

HP Mountain troll: "ugh" (swings little stick w/ bumps at the end of it)
LOTR Cavetroll: "ugh" (swings big chain around as well as big huge stick w/ bumps at the end of it)
HP Mountain troll: "ugh - Girls bathroom?"
LOTR Cavetroll: "ugh - sure. Then to little Hobbits"
HP Mountain troll: "ugh - Hobbits?"
LOTR Cavetroll: "ugh. Yeah - just like little boys."
HP Mountain troll: "ugh - Pervy Hobbit Fancier!"
LOTR Cavetroll: "ugh - Pervy Potty Fancier!"

***OK, so not as funny as Legolas and Dobby, but thought it was too coincedental not to pass up***


edit: fixed...now reflects mountain troll.

[Colli]

:rolleyes:

In HP it was a mountain troll.

Duh.

;) :D

[BloodFire]

So? A troll is a troll is a troll! Does it really matter where they come from? Isn't that like, troll discrimination? :D :p

[Colli]

:D :trout:

Well if I called you a Kentuckian, you'd correct me and say "no, I'm an Ohioan. ;)

"A hick is a hick is a hick"

(Kidding ;) :clap: Huzzah for Ohio!)

[Ravenclaw]

Hm... not so good at this kinda thing. But here...

Harry: Hi, um, I'm--
Frodo: Let me guess. You suddenly found out one day that it is all up to you to save everyone from the greatest evil this world (or any other for that matter) has ever known and the weight all rests on your shoulders and your shoulders alone. You feel lonely, overwhelmed, but still somehow determined, and you fear the worst.
Harry: (Pause.) Have you read my books?
Frodo (chuckling): Heh, have you read mine?

That's the best I can do on short notice. Nice thread though, i will check back to see what others come up with.

Lol. Love the Legolas/Dobby elf-encounter. Nice, Vala!

[Rivenlas]

Hermione meets the LOTR Trelawney...

Galadriel: Will you look into the mirror?
Hermione: What will I see?
Galadriel: Not even the wisest can tell. Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass.
Hermione: Absolutely not. This divination stuff sounds very wooly to me...All this stuff about Frodo dying? The quest will claim his life? Yeah, right. All that mirror is...is a big, stupid teacup!
Galadriel goes into dark queen trance
Hermione: Oh, please, it's not like I haven't seen that one a thousand times!

[Amberion]

I am absolutely hopeless at these

So maybe someone could do one for Ron and Sam

and Sauron and Lord Voldemort

[Fleurdelacour]

lol, I like this thread :)

I'll try Voldie and Sauron (Nearly finished FotR 100 pages to go!)

Voldie: Hey
Sauron: Good day.
Voldie: What's so good bout it?
Sauron: Nothing much. I had my finger chopped off my some bloke called Isildur, he nicked me ring!
Voldie: Could be worse. Some stupid woman called Lily decided to love her baby, and some smell rebounded off the baby! Can you imagine that! LOVE! Hopeless eegits!
Sauron: D'you wanna get a beer down the Queen Vic?
Voldie: Yeah alright. What's your job anyway?
Sauron: I'm a wizard.
Voldie: Ditto! World's most powerful!
Sauron: Snap!
Voldie: No you don't say! I am too.
Sauron: I know you imbecile.
Voldie: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!
Sauron: erm, imbecile, if you're so powerful, then why did you ask to hear it again?
Voldie: I don't know, why are we really doing this?
Sauron: I don't know... I wish I had children, I would have called them Rose and Jack
Voldie: Oh yeah... Children! I thought all the power would get me all the women I want, but alas no,I got a load of men grovelling at me feet!
Sauron: I got orcs, and things...
Voldie: I know! Lets hit the town! Go to China White, and the Met Bar! I've got four books (three on the way) and two films under me belt! We can get anywoman I want!
Sauron: Why! Me too, handfull of books and two films too!
Voldie: We've got so much in common Sauron!
Sauron: You're right Voldie boy!

If it wasn't for them, we'd have no HP or LotR....

[Amberion]

Originally posted by Fleurdelacour
Voldie: Could be worse. Some stupid woman called Lily decided to love her baby, and some smell rebounded off the baby! Can you imagine that! LOVE! Hopeless eegits!



:LOL: :LOL: :rotfl: Dont know if this was intentional but it is very funny:rotfl: :LOL: :LOL:

[Elfëa]

Oh my... these are hilarious!

Whilst Frodo and Harry are talking, Sam and Ron meet...

Simultaneusly:

Ron: Don't go nearer him or I'll turn you a rat! tries to draw his wand out of his ropes
Sam: If you touch him, I'll kill you! draws his sword

Nah... that's not good...

I'll let you funny writers do the job... I can't write parody... :o :(

[Colli]

ROTFL! Elfea, your reaction was funny, at least. ;) "Nah, that's not good." :LOL:

Aragorn meets Snape... let my mind brew over it for a day or two. This is like, my fantasy, so it has to be perfect. ;)

[ValaSarah]

I'm so happy to see the postings. I thought this might become amusing!;)

Elfea - I hope you dont mind me adding to yours a bit.:) it inspired me, as I was thinking about interaction between Sam and Ron too.

Simultaniously the two meet and start shouting at each other
Ron: "Dont you dare touch Harry, you, you, short stout thing you...."reaches for wand in robe
Sam: "I'll kill you if you try anything, LONGSHANKS!"pulls out sword from hilt

Ron: "LONGSHANKS? Any relation to Crookshanks, Hermione's cat?"
Sam: "Huh? Me Gaffer was right. There are odd people in this world..."

Camera slides over to Harry and Frodo, who are busy sharing their miserable tales to each other, and stop to witness what just happened between Ron and Sam...
Harry: "Getting along great, aren't they?"
Frodo: "Yeah. Gotta love the supporting Character role."
Harry: "Ron has a temper, and gets jealous all the time. Quite the turn off."
Frodo: "Jealousy? Mine's quite the opposite. Sam would have me in nothing but bubble baths if he got the chance. Although he did take my ring in Shelob's Lair."
Harry: "Did you punish him by not talking to him?"
Frodo: "Are you insane? Of course not. Unlike Ron, Sam can cook! Besides, I'd miss the bubble baths."


~Ok...so a little inspired by Cassie Claire's Diary...

~Vala

[Elfëa]

Lol... well, so was my begining :D

[Fleurdelacour]

ROTFL! :D :LOL: :rotfl: :rotfl: Bubble bath!

That's hilarious! Oh and btw, please dont let any rotk spoilers put just in case, 20 pages of fotr to go (I love my Samwise, and if anything happens to him in rotk, and it's spoiled, I'll cry ;) )

Oh who else...

[Loopy Loupie]

Originally posted by Colli
ROTFL! Elfea, your reaction was funny, at least. ;) "Nah, that's not good." :LOL:

Aragorn meets Snape... let my mind brew over it for a day or two. This is like, my fantasy, so it has to be perfect. ;)

I must confess I did try to draw Aragorn the other day and he ended up looking more like Snape.

How about Bill the pony meets someone, who I don't know, but someone

[ValaSarah]

Fleur - Sorry if I spoiled anything. Love your Samwise - I love mine.:D I love my Frodo too (poor Frodo...I'll take care of him, just like Mrs. Weasley wants to be Harry's missing mum). What I was mentioning actually happens at the end of TTT (The book, not the movie), but I'll be more careful in the future.;)

Bill the Pony and Someone - hmm. Thinking about this. right now I'm thinking of something between Ron and Bill, but it's not quite coming together.

I'll put something down, and if anyone wants to change it to fit their funnybone, go right ahead (it's not quite fitting mine right now).


Ron: "Hey, there's a horse over here."
Hermione: "That's not a horse, Ron, that's a Pony."
Ron: "Pony?"
Hermione: "Yeah, I read about them while attending Muggle school, before coming to Hogwarts."
Ron: "Oh. Do they do anything special, err, magical?"
Hermione: "They are an animal. Perhaps you can check and see."she displays a slight grin

Ron walks over to Bill the Pony, pats him gently, friendly on his neck, and whispers in his ear...
Ron: "Hi there. Can you talk?"
Bill the Pony: whinnies, shaking head in understanding, but not able to convey what he would like Ron to understand
Ron: "Guess not."
Bill the Pony: picks up brush in mouth, and hands to Ron, indicating that he'd like to be brushed.
Ron: "Oh, ok, I'll brush you. Nice Pony..."begins to brush Bill's neck and mane, petting him and being generally nice to the pony "...Wish I could have a pet like this. Much better than Pig. You can actually ride a Pony, unlike Scabbers or Pig."
Bill the Pony:Whinnies softly, thinking about his master who brushed him with care before, the great Samwise, whom he misses and knows misses him. Time passes as Ron enjoys brushing Bill.
Ron: "Gee...I wonder if I can make your Mane yellow. Tried to do that to Scabbers once, but it didn't quite work....lemme see..."
Pulls out his wand. Bill immediately notices the peculiar sound of Ron's voice, and begins to neigh and whinny, jumping up and down, and eventually kicking Ron back about 5 feet.
Bill the Pony: "Whinny neigh neigh" (Where's Gandalf and Samwise when you need them?)

Off in the distance, you see Sam petting a big fat tabby cat, who is melting a attention and loving the gentle hands of the great Hobbit
Sam: "Aye Longshanks! If only ye could meet a friend of mine from Bree...Bill the Pony. Had to leave him behind when we went in Moria....dearly miss him. Wonder what he's up to...."


(Ok, so it's not that funny. I'm having a hard time trying to make it more, er, clever?)

~Vala

[Colli]

:LOL: It's sounds good to me!

But then again, I AM in an exceptionally good mood.

[Fleurdelacour]

Originally posted by Colli
But then again, I AM in an exceptionally good mood.

Ahh, I wonder why ;)

lol! That's hilarious! :d

What else... Erm...

Gandalf and Dumbledore?

[Elfëa]

Bill the Pony and Basilisk? Or Bucklebeack? :D

Gandalf and Dumbledore would be rather interesting... yikes... Not another Wizard Wrestling tho... :D

The giant squib and the Watcher in the Water?

[Colli]

:D I yield Aragorn and Snape up to anyone who's a better writer than I am. ;)

[Loopy Loupie]

I wrote Smaug and the Hungarian Horntail but left it in my room, I will post it as soon as I can though (not that it was that good)

[Colli]

:D Loopy! I haven't seen you around much lately... your bit sounds funny, though. :)

[Elfëa]

Hmm... what about Draco and Legolas... (The blond hair...)

or Fleur and Legolas... :D

[Loopy Loupie]

Ok you asked for it Colli, Smaug meets the Hungarian Horntail

HH: Who are you, and where do you come from?
Smaug: I am Smaug the magnificent, ruler of the loney mountain
HH: Lovely titles (Turns round to breath on eggs0
Smaug: They're beutiful
HH; Why thank you, ?Would you belive some bratty kid on a broomstick tried to steal them from me
Smaug: I know, some "Barrel-rider" tried to steal my treasure
HH: Do you want to go somewhere more private?
Smaug: (Unable to take his eyes off the lady dragon) Uh? Sure.....


And yes I do know that Harry wasn't trying to steal the dragons eggs I was trying to do it as she would have seen it.

[Colli]

:clap: That was great. :D

Now if we can just keep this going till June, I might make it.

[Fleurdelacour]

lol! :D I got halfway through the Hobbit, then lost it, that was in 2001.... Found it the other day :rolleyes: :)

Fleur and Legolas!

Fleur: Bonjour monsieur blonde elf!
Legolas: I could see you from the hills, but I did not know whether you were an elf maiden or not. But on closer inspection, you're French.
Fleur: Elv-maiden? I am no elv! Vous homme idiot!
Legolas: I do not speak in your tounge, but I sense evil on your words!
Fleur: Evil! Evil! Zee only thing evil around here is you monsieur! vos cheveux sont dans mon modèle! Long et blond! Teef!
Legolas: You are now accussing me of theft, Madame!
Fleur: j'ai un bon esprit pour obtenir Harry! Rien ne peut vous préparer pour Harry! OU mon coiffeur!!
Legolas: What?
Fleur: I said I'm getting Harry AND MY HAIRDRESSER!!
Legolas: I'm going now
Fleur: Oui, you do zat! chicin! My 'air iz zee longezt and blondezt! imbécile! imbécile d'un homme!
Legolas: Right... Bye Madame....

Right, I'll go away now... I'm bored...

[Elfëa]

:LOL:

Well, was not what I expected but... ;)

[Loopy Loupie]

Erm and in English Fleur, I can figure out most of it, I just get lost at some btis, its been a few years since I did French

[Ravenclaw]

:rotfl:

Sounds Just like 'em! I bet Fleur thinks all guys are stupid. lol.

Maitenant, j'ecris un poem en Francais. Je detest la cours de francais! :p! BLECH!

yes, i know i made about ten spelling mistakes in that. but I am FRENCHED OUT!

[Elfëa]

Je ne parl pas francais.... I think that's all I rememeber from my French classes cause I dropped them after 9th grade :p and I can't find the weird 'c' from this comp...

[Amberion]

Amb wisely refuses to show off his almost total lack of french just in case the French secret service are keeping tabs on us

:DRemember the Rainbow Warrior :D

[ValaSarah]

Amberion - dont feel too bad. I'm "french-less" as well. Once had to sing a grouping of French Children's songs in College - I still know I'm mispronouncing everything. Couldn't even TRY to spell it.

That's why I took German - everything that is spelled is SPOKEN.:)

Not to Dis French. I appreciate different things.....like Sweaters being called Jumpers, etc.;)

Not too creative, or else I'd post a What if?...been reading Cassie Claire's fanfic. Just finished the last chapter of Draco Veritas....yes, that's right, began her stuff Thursday night and am now Finished.


Guess that's called obsessed, isn't it?:D

Will post again later, when I'm not so tired.


~Vala

[Elfëa]

Guess that's called obsessed, isn't it? :D

Say that after you've read it all at least thirce... :o
I'm utterly obsessed with DT... :o I just love the characters... she's taken them totally her own, in a good sence - they do things for several reasons... :)

I like Finnish :p - everything is pronounced as spelled :) :p But of course, pronouncination is different for English - vowels and such are different in "sound" :p

[Colli]

:D Try spelling in Spanish, it's SO easy. Don't know a word of french...

[Elfëa]

Mä voin aina kirjoittaa suomeksi :p

[Amberion]

Let me try my almost non existent finnish


The last word means finnish I think so my guess is " It sounds the same as written in Finnish"

How did I do:D

[Elfëa]

Nope, It's "I can always write in Finnish" But not that bad try :p

[Ravenclaw]

We went from LotR meets HP to languages. How interesting...

[Amberion]

well if you cant have a good topic shift here - where can you:cool: :cool: :D

[Colli]

:D Where can you?, or Where can you without breaking the rules? ;)

I understand a little French just because I know Spanish pretty well, and some words just look and/or sound an awful lot alike. :) But that's the extent of it..

[Elfëa]

Hmm....

Minion of the month:

Ringwraith #4: I have served my Lord over 3000 years now, I must win the Minion of the month. Besides, the prize is a ring. You don't do anything with it.
Dementor X: Minion? I am no minion, if I join to the Dark Lord, it'll be because I choose.
Ringwraith #4: Well, yeah. That's unfair. Why didn't we get any choice? *feeling gloomy and cold*


Nah... I just suck writing these. Ask for tragedy or description, but not for parody :p