Eyes of a Different Sort [Archive] - Muggle Informer Forums

katzpotter

06-07-2003, 12:03 AM

Kathleen Potter (better known as Katz) walked into her room, threw her purse on the bed, and sat down at her desk. After opening her laptop, turning it on, and logging onto the Internet, she signed on to her MSN Messenger. Seeing that all her buds were on, she pulled up an IM screen and added all of them.

J has been added to the conversation.

JL has been added to the conversation.

RS has been added to the conversation.

KP: Hey all!

JL: Hi Katz!

RS: Kathy!

J: Wassup?

KP: The sky, you know. Oh! Have you read Chapter 8 of DV?

RS: I have. I didn't like it.

JL: I didn't like it either.

J: Neither did I. I mean, there were some funny parts, but then came that part where Harry was drunk and.... Grr.

KP: I hate Rhyssen for doing that.

JL: So do I.

KP: I don't think I could ever read DV again. Or, for that matter, DD and DS, knowing what's gonna happen.

RS: I could probably read them, I'd just have a terribly heavy heart.

J: Think of what Sirius'll do to him.

RS: Think of what HERMIONE'll do to him.

KP: I'm already mad at Cassie Claire for breaking them up.

RS: Me too. I mean, Harry and Hermione belong together.

JL: I beg to differ.

KP: Jess, we know you think Draco and Herm go together.... Sadly enough, I'm split between Draco and Harry for her, too. But H/Hr is my top priority.

JL: Well, Katz, I still beg to differ.

J: Don't forget the END of Chptr. 8!

RS: *shudders* I can't believe Ron is the one Voldie's after.... Honestly, I'd think it was Draco or Harry. But RON! It's just... the craziest plot-twisting-device-thingy ever!

KP: I totally agree.

J: Hey guys, I g2g. Ttyl, though.

KP: Bye!

RS: Bye!

JL: Bye!

J has left the conversation.

KP: Still... the nerve of Lucius, breaking up a party like that.

JL: He's a perv, all right.

RS: He already WAS a perv. Remember in DD, when he came on to Hermione?

KP: Yuck. Can we not talk about this?

JL: Okay.

RS: How's TAoHG going?

KP: Good, good. I'm stuck on chapter 3, though.

RS: What part?

KP: The kiss part. I'm not very good at describing kissy scenes. *cough*

RS: I can help you... I think.

KP: Great!

JL: I g2g. Ttyl!

KP: Bye Jess!

RS: Bye.

JL has left the conversation.

RS: I just don't see how you could like D/Hr.

KP: I dunno.... It's weird, 'cause I like some R/Hr stories too. But I can't STAND H/G.

RS: Neither can I.

KP: How's AGOC going?

RS: Okay. Hey, my mum wants to use the compy, so I'll bbl, okay?

KP: Okay. Bye!

RS: Bye!

RS has left the conversation.

Katz logged off and shut her computer down. As soon as she did, the phone rang.

"Potter residence."

"Does a Miss Kathleen Potter live here?"

"Speaking."

"Congratulations, you have won a three day trip to London, England! You'll get to see historic sites such as Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, and many more!'

"I didn't enter any contests."

"So? You should be happy you won. I suggest you go; this is a once in a lifetime experience."

"All right, I'll go."

"Report to St. Louis International Airport at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. Go to the ticket desk and tell them your name. They'll tell you which gate to go to and give you your ticket."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow. Be there, or be square." The caller hung up.

Katz stared at the phone for a minute. This was getting freaky. Sighing, she put the phone in its jack and rose from her chair. Pulling out her suitcase, she began to pack.

Half an hour later, her suitcase was packed and she was starting on her carry-on bag. Deciding to take her laptop, she put it in its case and stuck it in a backpack. Then she grabbed her art kit, sketch pad, and pencils. After a brief discussion with her common sense, she stuffed her CDs in the backpack to, along with a player and earphones. Deciding she needed something to read, she put in all four of her Harry Potter books. Then she added a notebook and pens to the nearly full backpack. After stuffing her purse inside, she zipped up the backpack and headed to dinner.

***The Next Morning***

Katz woke up at eight thirty. After showering and throwing on some casual clothes, she called a taxi to take her to the airport.

When the taxi arrived, the driver put her suitcase in the trunk and gave her a cheerful smile. She climbed into the backseat and was quiet the whole ride. When she arrived at the airport, she grabbed her suitcase and backpack and paid the driver. He grinned and accepted her money.

She walked up to the airport door. Inside, the airport was just like any other airport: full of men, women, and children off to different places in the world.

She opened the door, stepped inside, and found herself in a place unlike any airport she had ever seen. In fact, it looked nothing like an airport. It looked like a train station. She walked up to a guard.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?"

The guard looked at her like she was crazy. "Think you're being funny do you? Well, you're at King's Cross Station, miss. And I'd stop the lost little girl act if I were you."

Katz glared at him. "I am not little, and I am not lost. At least, I don't think I am." She looked around. She was right at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. "Hmmph." She went and got a trolley, since her suitcase was getting heavy.

"Draco dear, are you sure you don't want me to give you any extra money for the cart?" Katz swung around. Three blonde people were walking toward the barrier. The boy was pushing a trunk and an owl along on a trolley. Katz blinked and stared. The woman was fawning over her son, straightening his clothes and the like. They reached the barrier, casually leaned against it, and disappeared. Her eyes went wide.

"This is freaky," she muttered. "Should I try it, or not?" Her common sense said not to try it, but then again, her common sense was sometimes wrong.

She began pushing her trolley towards the barrier. When she was almost there, she closed her eyes, preparing for the impact. But it never came. When she opened her eyes, she found a bright red steam engine staring back at her. Looking down at her trolley, she saw that her suitcase had been replaced by a trunk, a cage with an owl in it, and a basket that undoubtedly held a cat. She felt something long and thin in her pocket. Pulling it out, she found that it was a wand.

"This is really freaky. I am so not a witch. This is a trick. Oh well. I'll just play along. But if things start getting weird, then I am so out of here." She pushed her trolley to one of the end compartments and checked it. It was empty. Picking up her trunk, she shoved it into the compartment. Then she put her owl and cat in there. She went and rolled her trolley to rest somewhere by the wall, then went back to her compartment, pulled a book out of her backpack, and sat down.

katzpotter

06-07-2003, 12:05 AM

Forty-five minutes later, the door opened. A girl with short, choppy, light brown hair with auburn highlights stood there.

"Can I sit here?" she asked. "Everywhere else is full."

"Sure," Katz said. She noticed that the girl had a backpack, along with a guitar case. The girl came in, sat down, and began rummaging through her backpack. "Do you play guitar?"

The girl looked up and smiled. "Yeah, I do. Do you play any instruments?"

"Nope. I've tried, but I just don't understand anything. I'm Kathleen, by the way. Kathleen S. Potter, but most people call me Katz."

The girl gasped. "Kathy?"

"Yeah, some people call me that, too."

"No... Kathy?"

"Yes, Kathy."

The girl looked exasperated. "Kathy! It's me!"

"Who?"

The girl stuck out her hand. "Rhapsody Sabine. Most people call me Appy."

Katz gasped and shook her hand. "Appy?"

Rhapsody grinned. "Yeah, Appy. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last."

"I can't believe it either." The train whistle gave a piercing shriek as the train began to move.

Katz rummaged around in her backpack and pulled out her laptop just as Appy pulled out her laptop. Simultaneously, they logged onto the Internet and MSN Messenger. Seeing that Jen and Jess were online, she quickly set up an IM screen and added them both to it.

J has been added to the conversation.

JL has been added to the conversation.

KP: Hey guys!

J: Hey!

JL: Hi!

KP: You won't BELIEVE what happened to me!

J: What happened?

So Katz told them the whole story, and at the end, their replies were as follows.

J: WHAT??? So, you're on the Hogwarts Express?

KP: Yup.

JL: What compartment number are you in?

KP: Hang on, I'll go check. Brb.

Katz stood up and went outside to go check.

KP: I'm in compartment 27.

JL: You won't believe this, but the same thing happened to me. I was so hyped when I got the call. I've always wanted to go to England.

J: Same thing happened to me, too!

JL: I'm in compartment 16.

J: I'm in 13.

KP: Hey, why don't you guys come on down to my compartment? I'll ask Appy real quick.

Katz asked, and Appy replied, "Yeah, sure!"

KP: Appy says sure. Come on down!

JL: Wait. Appy?

KP: Rhapsody, you know!

JL: You mean Appy's here too? OMG!

KP: Come on guys! I don't have forever!

J: Coming. Be right there.

JL: Same.

J has left the conversation.

JL has left the conversation.

Katz went and checked her e-mail, and then her reviews. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. She stood up and opened it. There stood two girls, both with backpacks, though one had a guitar as well.

The one with the guitar had layered shoulder-length brown hair with honey colored streaks in it. The other girl had knee-length dark brown hair, almost black.

The girl with the dark brown hair grinned. "Are you Katz?" she asked.

"Yep. This is Appy," Katz said, gesturing.

"Jessica Lee. Call me Sunny, Angel, or Jess." She stuck out her hand.

The girl with the guitar stepped up. "Jennifer M. Patch. Call me Jen." She stuck out her hand as well. Katz shook them both in turn, then invited them in. They came in and sat down.

***Jen's POV***

Jen stared at Katz. She looked different than what she had pictured her as. She had pictured Katz with auburn hair and green or blue eyes. In real life, Katz had dark blonde hair and dark gray-blue eyes that were almost black. She wore a pair of oval forest green glasses. Jen couldn't tell how long Katz's hair was, because she was wearing it up.

"So what house do you think you'll be in?" Katz asked, startling Jen out of her reverie.

"Uh... Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. I hope I'm in Gryffindor," Jen replied.

"I think I'll be in Slytherin," said Jess.

"Ravenclaw," Appy said offhandedly.

"I'll be in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor."

They chatted on like this until the lunch cart came around.

***Katz's POV***

"Would you ladies like anything off the cart?" the lady asked.

Katz stuck her hand in her pocket and felt a great many coins in her pocket. She pulled them out, saying, "We'll take sixteen of everything." They all stared at her. Katz shrugged.

"That'll be sixteen Galleons, seven Sickles, and three Knuts."

Katz paid the lady and carried everything back into the compartment. Appy, Jess, and Jen all stared at her. She gave everyone four of everything. They kept staring at her.

Finally, Katz asked, "What?"

The others all looked at each other before Jess voiced the question they all had been thinking of. "Where'd you get all that money?"

Katz was puzzled, too. "I dunno. I just stuck my hand in my pocket, and there it was." They all raised their eyebrows. "It's true!"

"Okay. Whatever you say." But they still looked doubtful. Katz rolled her eyes, opened her laptop, and bit into a pumpkin pasty. She began to work on 'The Angst of Hermione Granger'.

After a few moments, she looked up. "Appy, what d'you think of this?" she asked. Appy came over to look.

"Pretty good. But you should put in more detail."

"But I suck at... that kind of detail."

Appy gave her a couple ideas, and Jen chimed in. For the rest of the ride, they chatted about various stories and such.

***Later***

As the train slowed to a halt, the girls began to gather their things. Katz had just slung her backpack over her shoulder when a loud voice over the speakers said, "Please leave your trunk and all other items and/or animals on the train. They will be taken to the castle separately." Katz glared at the ceiling.

"I'm taking my backpack with me, thank you very much."

"Katz, you heard the man," Jen said.

"I'm taking it with me. The house elves might break my laptop, or ruin my sketch pad or books."

Appy sighed. "You know they won't do that."

"Yeah, and Mrs. Weasley is in love with Voldemort."

"She is?" Jen asked sarcastically.

"That was my sarcastic voice, Jen."

"I knew that. That was my sarcastic voice, too."

"Okay, people. Are we done with the sarcastic voices now?" asked Jess.

"I'm not leaving my backpack."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"YES, you are!" all three other girls yelled.

"NO, I'm NOT!"

"Do you want a detention?" Jess asked.

Katz shook her head. "No."

"Then leave it!"

Katz sighed. "All right. Fine."

They stepped off the train and saw the extremely large shape of Hagrid standing near them.

"Firs' years! Firs' years, over here!" They began to walk toward the carriages, but stopped when Hagrid yelled, "Oi! Yeh four, yer teh come wi' me and the firs' years."

Katz paled. If they had to go with Hagrid and the first years, then that meant they had to cross the lake. Even though she had conquered her fear of deep water at age thirteen, eight feet was nothing compared to the lake. The lake was fathoms deep. She gulped.

"What's wrong?" Jen asked.

"It's-it's deep," Katz managed to say.

"Katz, come on."

Katz gulped again and put on a brave face. "All right. But if I drown, I'm blaming you and Hagrid."

They started off. When they saw the castle, Katz was awed. "Wow. The movie castle is nothing compared to this." The other girls chimed in their agreements.

When they arrived at the castle, Professor McGonagall greeted them with a smile. "Hello misses Lee, Patch, Potter, and Sabine. How are you today?"

"Fine," chorused the girls. The first years seemed rather disgruntled at this rare show of kindness from McGonagall. She made her usual speech, then went off.

"Who're you?" asked an imperious-looking blonde girl.

"Katz," replied Katz.

"What kind of a name is that?" the girl asked with disgust.

"A perfectly good one," Jen said.

"Especially for one who likes cats," supplied Jess.

"My real name is Kathleen. But I wouldn't call me that if I were you."

"Or else you'll suffer the consequences," Appy chipped in.

"And who're you?" asked a young, ginger-haired boy in the direction of Jess.

"Jessica Lee."

"And... you are?" the impertinent young blonde asked Appy.

"Rhapsody Sabine."

"And you, my fair little first year, are cruisin' for a bruisin' if you keep acting like that," added Katz with a glare.

"Oh? And are your friends gonna help you lose?"

"Jenna...," the boy muttered.

"Shut up, Sammy!"

"I think you should take Sammy's advice, Jenna. I was taught many things in my old school, and whipping someone's arse is one of them."

"Ahem." They all whirled around. There stood McGonagall. "They are ready for you. Follow me. Transfer students in front, please!" They all followed her into the Great Hall, Appy, Jess, Jen, and Katz in front. When they looked up, they saw only the starry sky.

"Holy cheezits," Katz muttered.

"The ceiling's enchanted to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History," Appy said with a small grin. The other three girls chuckled.

They reached the front of the Hall, where Dumbledore stood. "Today," he began, "we have four transfer students coming to us from across the Atlantic. Girls, please step up to the Sorting Hat in alphabetical order, tell us your name, year, and previous school, then sit on the stool."

katzpotter

06-07-2003, 12:08 AM

Jess walked up to the stool. "Jessica Lee, sixth year, Oregon Academy of Magic." She sat down, and McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Jess strutted off to the Slytherin table, an annoying smirk on her face.

Jen stepped up to the stool. "Jennifer M. Patch, sixth year, British Columbia Academy of Magic." She sat down, and McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR, like duh!" Everyone stared at the hat as Jen walked over to the Gryffindor table, a very large, very cheesy grin on her face.

Katz stepped up to the stool. "Kathleen S. Potter, but you better call me Katz, sixth year, Missouri Academy of Magic." She sat down, and McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Katz jumped up, bowed, turned to McGonagall, and said, "Thank you very much, Professor McGoonagall." (A/n: Intended misspelling.)

She then skipped to the Gryffindor table, a cheesy grin not unlike Jen's on her face.

Appy stepped up to stool. "Rhapsody Sabine, sixth year, Illinois Academy of Magic." She sat down, and McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Appy stood up and said, "First, I'd like to thank the hat. I would also like to thank my best buds in the whole world, Katz, Jess, and Jen. Then I'd like to thank all of the teachers and the students." She blew a couple kisses and headed down to the Ravenclaw table, whispering to Katz as she passed, "Except Snape and all the Slytherins except Jess." Katz chortled.

***The Slytherin Table***

As Jess sat down, the boy to the right of her said, "Hello, Jessica. May I introduce myself and my friends? I'm Draco Malfoy. These are my friends, Crabbe and Goyle."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Might I add that you have the most stunning brown eyes?"

"Are you flirting with me?"

Draco looked offended. "Malfoys never flirt."

"Whatever." Draco changed the subject.

"You seem to be friends with Potter, Sabine, and Patch."

"I am. They're the best buds ever."

Draco coughed. "Slytherins never hang out with Gryffindors or Ravenclaws."

Jess glared at him. "Listen, Draco, I know what you're trying to do. I'm going to hang out with my friends no matter what. If I'm laughed at, then they can just bug off."

Draco looked quite taken aback. But he soon regained his composure. "You will be known as a traitor to Slytherin House."

"Oh, goody," Jess said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Draco, stop scaring the new girl," said a voice to her left. Jess turned to see a boy with short, spikey brown hair with the tips frosted blonde smiling at her. "I'm Jeremy Butcher."

"Jessica Lee. It's a pleasure."

They talked for the remainder of the Sorting, listened to Dumbledore's speech, and ate the food when it appeared in front of them.

***The Ravenclaw Table***

As Appy sat down, the girl to her left said, "Hello, Rhapsody."

"Hello.... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Cho Chang."

"You're Cho Chang?" Appy's eyes had grown large.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Omigosh! I mean, it's just.... Never mind."

"Okay, whatever."

"Hey," said a voice to her right. Appy turned to find a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes looking at her, a smile on his face. "That was some speech you made there. Nobody's ever done that before."

Appy blushed. "Well," she stammered, "I suppose there's a first time for everything, right?"

The boy nodded. "I'm Sean Connelly."

"Rhapsody Sabine."

"It's a pleasure," they said simultaneously, then laughed.

For the rest of the Sorting, they talked. And after Dumbledore's speech, they ate.

***The Gryffindor Table***

Jen sat down at the Gryffindor table and watched Katz get Sorted. When Katz came and sat down by her, she grinned. "Fancy meeting you here, Professor McGoonagall," she said.

Katz chuckled, partly because of what Jen had said, and partly because of what Appy had said as she passed by on her way to the Ravenclaw table.

"Hello, Jennifer. Hello, Kathleen." The girls looked at the person who had spoken to them from across the table.

"Holy cheezits!" Katz all but yelled. The girl looked puzzled.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, holy cheezits."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think cheese-whatevers are holy."

"Cheezits. And it means the same thing as holy cow. Also, don't call me Kathleen. It's Kat, Kathy, or Katz."

"Kitty Kat?" asked the red haired boy sitting next to the girl.

"No. Absolutely not. And if you do call me that, I will beat you to death with an evil purple stuffed bunny named Captain Lint."

(A/n: The insane mind of Katz has now invaded Hogwarts.)

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm not repeating it. You should have listened the first time."

"Uh... right. I'm Ron. Ron Weasley."

Jen's eyes went wide. Katz didn't look so surprised.

"I'm Hermione Granger," said the girl.

"Harry Potter," said the boy on the other side of the girl. At this, Katz's eyes widened as well. However, her eyes did not make the familiar upward flick to his forehead.

"Well, Harry. It's a pleasure to meet you, Hermione and Ron," she said pleasantly. "Also, please remind your red-headed friend here to never, ever call me 'Kitty Kat' if he wants to see the next sunrise." She smiled sweetly while Jen hid a smile behind her hand.

"I'm Jen. Not Jenny, Jen," said Jen.

"It's a pleasure," said the 'Dream Team.'

"Tell me Katz, where'd you get your name?" Harry asked.

Jen heard him think, 'Wonder if she's of any relation to me.'

"My parents gave it to me. And my friends started calling me Katz when they found out how much I like cats. The name stuck."

"...."

"He's wondering if your related to him," Jen whispered almost inaudibly.

"And if you're wondering, I'm not related to you at all. Unless, of course, we're very distant cousins," Katz said with a small grin. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at her.

"How-how did you know?"

Katz shrugged. "Dunno. Intuition, I guess."

Dumbledore stood up and made his usual speech. After he finished, the food appeared. After they finished eating, they all stood up.

"Come on, I'll show you where the dorms are," said Hermione.

"What about the Common Room?" She looked surprised.

"You know about the Common Room?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Uh, right. Come along, then."

They went up seven flights of stairs, Katz making note of everything. When they arrived in front of the Fat Lady, Katz stared.

Damn. No wonder they called her the Fat Lady.

"Feather boas and combat boots," said Hermione. The Fat Lady opened, and they all went inside and went to bed.

***The Ravenclaws***

Appy stood up with all the other Ravenclaws. She followed them all up many flights of stairs, making note of landmarks. When they arrived in front of a painting of a man with a book in his hand and an ink stain on his cheek, Appy looked at it wonderingly.

"Sugar Quill," said Cho.

The portrait swung aside, and they entered a room full of blue. Cho led Appy up to her dorm, and they all went went to bed.

***The Slytherins***

Jess rose with Draco and the others and headed down to the dungeons. They arrived before a blank stretch of wall, where Draco called, "Triple-cursed wash water." The wall opened, and they all trooped inside. Jess followed Pansy Parkinson up to the girls' dorms, and there, climbing into her bed, she fell fast asleep.

katzpotter

06-28-2003, 12:57 AM

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The name Degas belongs to Edgar Degas, the famous French artist. The ducky socks, obviously, belong to Cassie Claire and Draco.
Author notes: A big thank you to Jen, Jess, and Lily. For what, I can't remember. I really do want to be a phsycologist.

katzpotter

06-28-2003, 01:19 AM

Katz woke up at 6:30 the next morning to her alarm clock. She got up and took a shower. Hermione was up by the time she came out. Hermione went in and took a shower after greeting Katz. After fifteen minutes, there was a knock on the door. Katz went to answer it, and found Harry and Ron standing there.

"Is Hermione up?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I'll go get her. Hermione!" Katz called. Hermione came out of the bathroom, brushing her hair.

"Yeah?"

"Harry and Ron want to talk to you."

"Oh. Okay." She walked outside. Katz closed the door behind her, but not all the way. She listened closely. "What is it?"

"Sirius is here," said Harry. "He wants us to meet him in Dumbledore's office."

"When?"

"As soon as possible, which means now."

"All right, just let me put my brush away and get my wand." Katz quickly stepped to her bed as Hermione came back in.

"I want to go with you," she said.

Hermione looked up from her dresser. "What?"

"I want to go with you and meet Sirius," Katz repeated.

"How did--how'd you know?"

Katz grinned. "I have extremely good hearing. Besides, it's quite all right. I know that Sirius is innocent. So, can I come?"

"You'd have to ask Harry. He's Sirius's godson."

"Okay. Oi, Harry!"

"What?"

"Can I come along?"

"What do you mean, come along?"

"Come along to see Sirius. I know he's innocent, and that it was Wormtail who betrayed your parents, so it's all right."

"Well.... Okay. But if Dumbledore tells you to leave, then you'll have to leave."

"Okay! Just as long as I can come along." And so they set out.

Upon arriving in front of the gargoyle, Harry said, "Sour gummy worms." The gargoyle came to life and jumped aside. Katz giggled as they ascended the steps. They knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's us, Professor. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Katz."

"What's Katz doing here?"

"She wanted to come along, sir. She heard us telling Hermione, and she knows he's innocent."

There was a low sound, as if Dumbledore was asking Sirius if it was all right. After a moment, the door opened. They walked inside. When Katz saw Sirius, she gave a small, illegible sound that sounded like 'meep'. Harry and Hermione hugged Sirius; Ron just shook his hand. Katz hung back, looking solemnly at him. He seemed... familiar somehow. Sirius looked at her. He gasped, though faintly. Then he smiled.

"Hello Katz," he said, coming forward. She gulped as he stuck out his hand. She shook it. His grasp was comforting, in a weird yet nice way.

"Hi," she squeaked. Sirius grinned.

"It's all right. I don't bite. Well, sometimes..." he trailed off, apparently not sure if he should finish his sentence.

"When you're a dog?" Katz offered. Sirius looked taken aback.

"How'd you know?" asked Ron.

Katz shrugged and repeated what she had said the night before, "Intuition, I guess."

"Oh. Anyways, Harry, you said you had to tell me something?"

"Yeah, I did. I had the strangest dream about a week ago. It was about Voldemort, but my scar never hurt."

"Really? Do tell."

"All right...."

***Flashback***

"Wormtail!"

"Y-yes, my lord?"

"Have you found anything out?"

"About Dumbledore's plan? Yes."

"No, you pigheaded dolt! About the girls! Lupin, Black, and Degas's children!"

"Oh! Yes, they are coming to Hogwarts. They will be in the sixth year with Malfoy, Potter, Weasley, and Potter's Mudblood friend."

"Ah, yes. Good. Dumbledore would bring them to Hogwarts, so he can keep an eye on them."

"What are we going to do?"

"We are going to make sure they never come back. Ever."

***End Flashback***

Katz was clenching her fists. "Hermione is not a Mudblood!" she burst out. "How dare they call her that? Oh, I want to go over there and kick him where it really hurts."

Sirius was pale. "Albus.... A word, if you please?"

"Of course. If you all would please go. You may return tonight."

They left. As she closed the door, Katz heard Sirius ask, "Albus, do you think it's Katz?"

"It very well could be," replied Dumbledore. Katz stopped and stood outside the door, intent on hearing the conversation.

"I mean, her eyes.... They're the exact same color as mine. It's freaky, really. And she has her mother's hair."

"Yes, she does look quite like her mother." Sirius nodded.

"Should we tell her?"

"No. Best wait till her mother sees her and confirms it."

Sirius sighed. "It's been such a long time since I saw Jasmine. Does she look the same?"

"Oh, very much so."

"Does she know I'm innocent?"

"Of course she does, Sirius. Did you think that your own wife wouldn't believe that?"

Katz quietly walked away, thinking, 'I never heard this conversation.'

***Slytherin***

Jess woke up to Pansy talking in her sleep.

"Oh, Dracy, you're sooo sexy in those jeans," murmured Pansy. Jess rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. It didn't work. So instead, she got up, took a shower, and got dressed. After grabbing her wand, she picked up a pillow, debating whether or not to throw it at Pansy. In the end, she walked to the door, opened it, threw the pillow, and ran out.

As she made her way up to the Great Hall, she pondered why the Slytherins didn't have a portrait. But when she got to the Great Hall and saw the look on Katz's face, all thoughts but those of Katz were forgotten.

"Something wrong?" Jess asked, sitting next to Katz. Katz nodded and glanced around.

"I met Sirius today," she whispered.

"So? That's nothing to be worried about." Katz shook her head.

"You don't get it. I met him, for the first time, but it seemed like I already knew him. When I shook his hand, his grasp was... comforting, somehow."

Jess was still confused. "It's just a feeling. Why are you so worried? It's not like he's related to you or anything."

Katz gripped her arm and looked into Jess's eyes. "Jess, his eyes are the same color as mine."

Jess gasped. Not many people had the same color eyes as Katz. In fact, Jess had never met anyone who had the same eye color. This meant something. She tried to say something comforting, but all she managed was a soft 'oh'.

"You see what I mean?" Jess nodded weakly.

"Lee!" Katz and Jess whipped around. There stood Draco. "What are you doing at the Gryffindor table?" he asked coldly.

"Talking to Katz," replied Jess.

"I suggest you get back to the Slytherin table. That is, if you really want to know what classes you've got," Draco snapped. Jess went over, got her schedule, and came right back over to Gryffindor table, much to the displeasure of Draco.

***Katz's POV***

Jen and Appy came over after getting their schedules.

"What's up?" Appy asked, looking at Katz, who was pushing her food around on her plate.

Jess told them. In the end, their reactions were much like hers. Appy soon went back to her table. Hermione walked over and sat down.

"Katz, you need to eat," she said.

"I'm not hungry."

Hermione looked at Katz's schedule. "We've got Potions first thing, Katz. If you're going to survive, then you need to eat something."

Katz reluctantly took a bite. And another. Soon, she was serving herself more. Once that was all eaten, Hermione led her up to the dorms and they got their books.

katzpotter

06-28-2003, 01:24 AM

Once arriving in the Potions dungeon, Katz took a table right in front of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's table and shared it with Jess and Jen. Class began when Snape arrived in the room.

"It seems," he began in his silky tones, "that we have some new students joining us today, so I must tell you all the rules. One, I do not tolerate cheek. Two, I do not tolerate cauldron melting for the fun of it. Three, I do not tolerate cauldron melting at all. Four, I expect all homework to be turned in to me on the due date, not before, not after, and it must be the exact length that I assign." This caused Hermione to blush. "And finally, I do not tolerate any protests against who I pair you up with when I pair you up."

He began to take roll. When he arrived at Katz's name, he paused, and looked up.

"Ah, yes," he said softly. "Kathleen Potter. Our new orphan student, I suppose?" Katz could almost feel the angry heat radiating from Harry. She raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Sir, the name's Katz. And, if you don't mind, I'm not an orphan. In fact, I'm not related to Harry at all."

"Well, we'll see about that, now, won't we? Katz, come up here, to the table in front of me." Katz went up there. "Now, I am going to ask you the same three questions I asked Potter on his first day in Potions. If you get them all right, I might let you go back to your seat. If you get them wrong, you will stay here for the rest of the year." Katz nodded, acknowledging this crucial situation.

"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"A sleeping potion so powerful that it is known as the Draught of the Living Death," Katz replied promptly.

"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

"The stomach of a goat, of course. Bezoars can save you from most poisons. Honestly, Professor, this is first year stuff."

"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"They're actually the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. It is one of the key ingredients in a Wolfsbane Potion, which allows werewolves, if taken before dusk, to stay sane during their transformation."

Snape was really not amazed. "And where, pray tell, did you learn of the Wolfsbane Potion?"

Katz grinned. "Why, Prisoner of Azkaban, sir."

"And what sort of a Potions book is that?"

"'Tisn't. It's a book about the third years of 1993." There was a small amount of chattering as the students recognized it as the year of their third year.

"Where would I be able to locate this book?"

"My dorm. I brought a copy with me. I can lend it to you, if you like."

"Get it to me by Thursday. And five points will be taken from Gryffindor for your cheek."

"Yes, sir," said Katz, giving him a sweet smile. At this point, Snape made eye contact, and gasped.

'The eyes... those are Black's eyes.... Surely Black can't have a daughter! Wait, I think he did... but didn't she die, soon after Black went to Azkaban?' Snape thought wildly. "The eyes..." he muttered, backing away. He quickly turned his back, regained his composure and said, "Potter, you may return to your seat."

"Thank you, sir," said Katz, and she returned to her seat.

"Wow.... You really creeped Snape out with your eyes," whispered Jess.

"Yeah, but I don't like creeping people out. I mean, I know my eyes are unusual, but...."

"They shouldn't creep people out?" offered Jen.

"Exactly," replied Katz.

They began working on their potions.

An hour later, they were released.

As they headed to Care of Magical Creatures, Hermione, Ron, and Harry caught up with Katz.

"Hey, I want to thank you," said Harry.

"For what? I didn't do anything."

"You stood up to Snape. Not many people can do that."

Katz blushed. "It isn't really all that hard. Personally, I think he's kind of insecure."

Harry looked intrigued. "You really think?"

"Oh, yes. That's why he has to punish people who stand up to him."

Harry and Ron chuckled. "How'd you reach that conclusion?" Hermione asked.

"I plan to be a psychologist when I grow up, so I must make observations. I merely observed that he had difficulty controlling himself when people stand up to him."

"Oh." This stunned answer made Katz burst out laughing.

"Uhm....” Harry and Ron looked at each other as Katz leaned against the wall, unable to hold herself up.

"What, pray tell, is so funny, Miss Potter?" came a silky smooth voice. Katz immediately stopped laughing and stood straight up.

"I want to be a psychologist someday, sir, and I was merely telling Harry, Ron, and Hermione of my observations so far."

"And what have you observed?"

Katz knew he was trying to get her into trouble. "Only that Malfoy is an insufferable git," she replied innocently.

"Potter, I will not have you talking that way about a fellow student. Five points from Gryffindor. See that you make no more such observations."

"Yes, Professor," Katz replied sweetly, though inside, she was seething. This dude was just like Mr. Nitsch, her 8th grade Science teacher. Mr. Nitsch had not liked her, and she did not like him.

Snape left, and Katz glared daggers at his back, willing his hair to burst into flames. Suddenly, she saw a tongue of flame flicker at the hem of his robes. She gasped.

"Harry! Snape's robes!" she whispered urgently, pointing. Harry looked over there.

"Oh my God!" he muttered. "Hermione, did you do that?"

Hermione looked at Snape. "No...."

"Then who did?" asked Harry.

Katz blinked. Maybe that burning sensation in her eyes was the cause of Snape's robes being on fire. Snape still hadn't noticed. Hermione hurried after Snape. She quickly hid behind a knight and doused the fire. He spun around, looking for the person who had soaked him, head to toe. Not seeing anyone, he yelled something about Peeves and hurried on his way.

Katz, Harry, Ron, and Hermione headed off to Care of Magical Creatures.

"Why're yeh three late?" asked Hagrid gruffly.

"Snape held us up," Ron said, frowning.

"Ah, well then, yeh three oughta get over teh the other students. Today we're learnin' about Chimaeras."

Katz swallowed. "Ch-Chimaeras? You mean, y-you're bringing Chimaeras here?" she asked, growing pale.

"I don' see why not," replied Hagrid.

"I'll come out to talk to you tonight and tell you exactly why not," said Katz firmly.

"All righ', then. Now, get over wi' the other students and start taking notes."

Katz saluted and ran over to the other students, who were lying sprawled on the ground. Draco was complaining about getting his robes stained.

"Oh, shut up, Draco!" yelled Jess, whacking him over the head with her book before running away.

"Ow!" cried Draco, getting up and giving chase. "You'll pay for that!"

"Shut up!" replied Jess, and started climbing up Hagrid's house.

"Oi! Get down from there!"

Everyone froze. There was silence.

"Now, wha' caused all o' this?" asked Hagrid.

Draco and Jess started talking at the same time. "Well, sir, he was complaining about his robes getting dirty, and I was just plain tired of it, so I hit him with my book and ran," said Jess.

"I was innocently talking to my friends, and she just hit me with the book and ran. Naturally, I would want revenge, so I chased after her," replied Draco.

"Well, Malfoy, yeh'll have teh keep yer discussions softer so they don' bother other students," concluded Hagrid. "An' Jess, yeh shouldn' hit other students wi' books. An' get off o' my house!"

Jess quickly obeyed. The bell rang.

"Oi, Katz!" yelled Hagrid, over the sounds of the mad rush that the students were making.

"Yes sir?" she asked.

"Come see me after dinner, all righ'?"

"Of course, Hagrid." She gathered up her things and headed to lunch, where she met up with Jess and Jen.

"Hey, Jess! Nice job," said Katz.

"It wasn't really anything super," she muttered.

"Yes it was! You totally kicked his arse!" Katz paused, contemplating this thought. "Well, you hit him in the head, at least."

Jen and Jess laughed. "That I did," agreed Jess. They went to lunch and ate up. After lunch, Jen and Katz had Divination. Jess had Transfiguration.

katzpotter

06-28-2003, 01:32 AM

"Erg....” This was the only sound coming from Harry as he led them up to the North Tower. They reached the steps and he turned to them. "Let me warn you of something. She always predicts my untimely death at the beginning of the year and at nice little intervals. So don't freak out. Okay?"

Jen and Katz nodded. The ladder swung down from the trapdoor, and the students climbed up and into the Divination room.

They took their seats. "Good afternoon, students," said a voice right behind Katz, making her jump. "Ah," said Professor Trelawney, "it seems that we have some new students joining us this year." At least, Katz thought that the glittery object behind her was Professor Trelawney.

Trelawney took a seat right in front of Katz. Unluckily, Katz had chosen the seat in the middle of the front of the room. She made a small mental note to never sit there again. This lady was creepy.

"These next three weeks we shall be reviewing," she said, "so that our new classmates can get an idea of what we've learned. Today, it is tea leaves. Everyone, pair up and go get a teacup. I'll come around with the tea. Also, two of you need to pair up with the new girls." Harry and Ron immediately went and joined Jen and Katz. They went to go get their teacups, got them filled, and sat back down.

Katz took a small sip of her tea and made a face. "Needs sugar," she muttered.

"Don't put anything in it," replied Harry, whom she had paired up with. "You might get in trouble." Katz sighed, drank her tea, popped a mint in her mouth, swilled the dregs around, and drained the cup. She then switched it with Harry's.

"Right," said Katz, rotating his teacup. "You've got a falcon, a club, a skull, and a Grim. But it's plain logic for the both of us that the Grim is really"-here she lowered her voice-"Sirius Black in Animagus form."

Harry grinned. "It's nice to know that some people other than me and Ron think that Divination is just plain junk."

"C'mon, tell me what's in my cup."

"All right. You've got . . . a weird sort of thing with a beak . . . yeah, it's a falcon -- hey, maybe your deadly enemy is my deadly enemy-- you've got a crooked sort of cross--wow, what a horrible cup--and a . . .. Wait, is that the Grim?" Trelawney rushed over.

"Dear, let me see that," she said, snatching the cup from him. She rotated the cup, announced that Katz had a falcon, a club, and a cooked cross, then gasped and let out a little scream. "Oh, my . . . you poor, dear girl . . . just like the dear boy next to you . . .." Katz glanced uncertainly at Harry. He shrugged.

"What is it, Professor?" asked Jen.

"My dear," Professor Trelawney's eyes opened dramatically, "you have the Grim."

Katz stood up. "Oh, is that all? Just a Grim? Geez, you people are so weird!" she burst out. "Honestly, there is no such thing as a bloody fricking Grim!"

Trelawney looked quite taken aback. "My dear, you have clearly been disturbed by the resonances of the future in this room."

"I am not disturbed! I may be a little nuts at times, especially after I've had sugar, but I am not disturbed!" With this last statement made, Katz gathered her things, kicked open the trapdoor, and descended the ladder.

Trelawney sighed. "Class dismissed."

They all gathered up their things. Harry was first down the stairs, followed by Jen and Ron. They raced down the halls after Katz just as the bell rang.

~~~Transfiguration~~~

"Welcome to a new year, class. And a very special welcome to Miss Lee," said McGonagall after taking roll.

"Today we will be transfiguring pillows into animals." McGonagall handed out the pillows. Since Draco was right next to Jess, she could hear him complaining. Again.

"Oh, this is just what we need," groaned Draco.

"Draco, I'm only going to tell you this one more time," said Jess. "Shut up."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"No I can't."

"Yes you can."

"All right then, if I can tell you what to do, then I'm telling you to shut up."

"But I didn't say you could tell me what to do."

"Yes you did. You just said I could. You said, 'yes you can.'"

"You made me!"

"No I didn't!" Jess's eyes were wide and innocent, but she was crossing her fingers behind her back.

"Malfoy, Lee, stop bickering and get to work," said McGonagall.

"Yes Professor," they replied, giving each other glares.

Jess murmured the spell and pointed her wand at the pillow. However, her pillow remained a pillow. Oddly enough, there was no smart remark from Draco at her failure. She looked at him. He wasn't there. Instead, in his place, was a white blonde cat with slanted gray eyes.

"Oh, what a cute kitty!" she squealed, scooping it up.

The cat glared at her. "It's okay, kitty," cooed Jess, stroking it. The cat seemed to wince, then settle into her lap.

Suddenly, Jess noticed that she was no longer stroking soft fur, but cloth. Looking, down, she saw that Draco was lying in her lap, looking quite angry.

"AIEEE!" she shrieked, jumping up.

Draco toppled off her lap onto the hard floor.

"OW!"

"What in the world is going on here?" asked McGonagall sharply.

"She transfigured me into a cat!" said Draco.

"Your pillow was missing, so I figured you had found better company!" cried Jess.

"Wait. My pillow is missing?"

Jess nodded, stricken.

"You must have turned it into a cat, too," said Draco.

"We've got to look for it," added Jess, who was on the verge of tears at the thought of the poor kitty getting trampled.

They conducted a full out search, with them both crawling about on the floor, looking for the cat. They finally found it under Blaise Zabini's desk.

Draco crawled under and retrieved the frightened kitty.

Jess offered to take it, but Draco would not let her near the poor thing.

'I never knew Draco had a soft spot for animals,' thought Jess, looking admirably at Draco, who was petting his cat.

She jumped as the bell rang. She quickly gathered her stuff and ran off to Charms.

~~~During Transfiguration and Divination: Charms~~~

Appy glanced around. 'All right,' she decided, 'Charms isn't that bad. Look at the bright side. You've got a teacher who's so short he can barely see over the top of his desk, and that's with three huge books, too!' Sitting down, she glanced at the person on her right.

"Hi, I'm Padma. Padma Patil," said the girl.

"Hi."

"You're Rhapsody, right?"

"Yeah. Most people call me Appy, though."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm Terry Boot," said the boy on her left.

"Hello," replied Appy.

"Welcome to a new year, class. Especially to our brand new student, Rhapsody Sabine."

Appy gave a little wave.

"Today we will be working on debating charms."

"Debating charms? How can you use charms for a debate?" asked Appy, who had a lot of experience with debating.

"To use better grammar and debating skills. Also to make better arguments."

"But we should use our human skills for debates."

"Sometimes, to win, we must do desperate things."

"Winning isn't everything, Professor Flitwick."

"Now class, as you can see, Miss Sabine and I are debating over whether using a charm for debates is unethical."

"It's totally unethical, sir. It is, to put it really simply, cheating."

"And you've hit the nail on the head, Miss Sabine, because that is your homework for tonight. To research debating charms and write a three foot long essay about which ones are mainly used for cheating and which ones aren't. It is due on Friday."

Then the bell rang, and the Ravenclaw Sixth Years headed off to Herbology.

katzpotter

06-28-2003, 03:39 AM

~~~Dumbledore's Office~~~

"Albus, I am telling you that she is Black's daughter!"

"I know that, Severus," replied Dumbledore calmly. "And so does Sirius. However, we must confirm this with Jasmine. That is why I am trying to write a letter to her. However, it is very hard to do so with all these interruptions."

Snape got the hint. "Of course, Headmaster. I'll be going, now," he said, leaving.

"God I hate him," muttered Sirius, coming back into the room.

"Ah, but you must work together, if we are to destroy Voldemort."

"I know," Sirius said, sighing.

~~~The Great Hall~~~

Jen, Jess, Katz, and Appy had all had a great day.

However, Katz was still fuming at Trelawney.

"Damn her," she muttered. "Grims are nonexistent. Anyone who believes in them is a doodoo head."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione chuckled. "Doodoo head?" Hermione asked with a grin.

"Yeah," replied Katz, returning the grin.

Meanwhile, Draco was still fuming about the cat incident.

"Missed her pillow and turned me into a cat! Honestly, any Pureblood could at least hit their pillow, instead of hitting me."

"Dangit Draco, will you shut the heck up?" asked Jess very irritably.

"Why should I? You haven't even apologized for turning me into a cat," Draco replied coolly.

Jess was thoroughly fed up. "If I didn't love your ducky sucks, I would dump this whole tureen of soup onto your head," she said threateningly.

"Wait! How'd you know about those?" he asked, scared.

"Secret. And two of the Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw know about them, too." Jess grinned evilly. Perfect blackmail.

"Well, I've got to go. Must send an owl to my mum," Jess added cheerily, getting up from the table. On her way out of the Great Hall, she leaned down in between Katz and Jen and muttered, "Meet me in the Owlery in five minutes." Katz and Jen nodded.

Five minutes later, they arrived in the Owlery.

"I've got the perfect blackmail material," whispered Jess.

"What?" asked Katz eagerly.

"For who?" asked Jen.

"Ducky socks. Draco."

Katz squealed. "You mean he really does have ducky socks?" she asked eagerly.

Jess nodded. "Now, you guys know how I've been trying to make him shut up today, and he hasn't? Well, next time I tell him to shut up, I'll threaten to tell the whole school about his socks. Then, when he doesn't shut up, I'll magic something onto the back of his robes and summon one of his ducky sucks and attach it with the words. So, what do you think?"

"Ooh! It's so Slytherin!"

Jess smiled smugly. "I know, Katz. That's why I thought it up. No offense."

"None taken," chirped Katz.

"But... what if he finds out it was you?" asked Jen.

"He won't."

"You're the only one that knows about his ducky socks, as far as he knows, right?"

"No, I told him that two Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw knew, too."

"Jess!" Katz and Jen yelled simultaneously.

"Don't worry. It'll all work out."

"If you say so," Jen said, unbelieving.

Katz shrugged before yawning. "C'mon, let's get to bed."

And so they did, memories of their first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry fresh in their minds.

katzpotter

07-08-2003, 05:38 PM

OOTP SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT FORWARD.

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Draco Malfoy, The Amazing Bouncing... Rat? belongs to Maya, along with Draco's jeans and guitar Draco Veritas belongs to Cassandra Claire, along with Draco's ducky socks and other items. The rock hard toast belongs to someone I beta for... If only I could remember her name.... The Fellowship of the Ring belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien, great man that he is....

Author notes: Acknowledgements:
Thanks to Lily for nitpicking, Jen, for her throwing something idea, J.K. for Remus/Tonks, my lovely evil mind, and Jen for 'Gulenchyn.' BTW, Gulenchyn is pronounced 'Gull-ench-in.' Yes, and there are footnotes which whill be indicated by this: (number) and will be put at the bottom of the post.

This chapter is dedicated to Jen (Good luck, honey! Be safe!), and Chris (Get well soon!).

katzpotter

07-08-2003, 05:44 PM

Jess woke up the next morning with the sound of someone shuffling around in a trunk. Raising herself off her pillow to see who it was, she became alarmed. Someone was digging in her trunk! She quickly lit her wand to see who it was.

"Oh my God!" she screeched, grabbing for the nearest hard item—her book.

The person looked up, surprised, and then quickly ducked. The book missed his ear by inches.

Jess grabbed for her clock and threw it at him, too. It barely skimmed the top of his head.

Seconds later, a lamp whizzed by his ear, and he cried out as the cord struck him in the face.

"Holy !!!!!"

Jess's eyes widened. Immediately, she grabbed her copy of The Fellowship of the Ring (the large print edition, which was very thick and large), and hurled it at him. He jumped sideways, but the book grazed his arm.

"Draco, get out of the girls' dormitory! What were you doing in my trunk, anyway?"

"A pair of my pants is missing."

"And you think I'd have them?"

"Well, they were leather."

Jess raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"Well, I figured that if you liked my ducky socks, then you'd like my leather pants."

"That's true, I do like leather pants, but I don't have them. Ask Pansy. She dreams about you in jeans, why shouldn't she steal your pants?"

"Because she isn't like that."

"The hell she isn't!" Jess shot back.

"She isn't!"

"Okay, you know what?" asked Jess, getting out of bed and walking over to Draco. "Get out. Just... get out." She pushed him out of the room and shut the door in his face.

"Ow! That was uncalled for!" he yelled through the door.

"And just for that, I hope you don't find your leather pants!"

That, of course, was very much untrue—she really did want to see him in leather pants.

Sighing, she got dressed and headed to breakfast.

~~~Ravenclaw~~~

Appy woke up with a pounding headache. Grumbling, she got out of bed. She walked over to her backpack, where she had some aspirin. She quickly took two and lay back down, cradling her aching head with her pillow.

"Hey, Appy, are you okay?" It was Padma.

"No…. I've got a migraine."

"Oh. I get those a lot. D'you want some of the potion that Madame Pomfrey gave me for them?"

"No, I just took some aspirin."

"Well, the potion works faster, and it doesn't matter if you've taken aspirin or not. In fact, aspirin makes it work faster."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll take some."

Padma got up and conjured up a spoon. She poured a spoonful of green liquid from a bottle on her bedside table and handed it to Appy, saying, "Here. It should be gone in about five to ten minutes."

What Padma had said was true. Within ten minutes, Appy felt as good as ever. She cheerily got dressed and headed down to breakfast.

~~~Gryffindor~~~

Katz woke up feeling somewhat grumpy. She had writer's block. She had a cold. She had a bloody obsession with Draco, and there was nothing to do about it. Except, perhaps, causing a sensation among the Gryffindors by wearing Slytherin clothing. Yes, that was it! Change her dull and boring day!

She quickly headed to her trunk, where she pulled out black pants, a green, long-sleeved shirt, a silver vest, and her black combat boots. Quickly, she put them on, before putting her hair up in elaborate curls. Then she grinned.

"I am so going to freak the Dream Team out."

"Why?" asked Jen, who had heard her. Katz turned around. "Omigosh! You traitor!"

"Who's a traitor?" Hermione asked, getting out of bed. When she saw Katz, she stared.

"Exactly," replied Katz, leaving the two in a stupor and going to get her copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. "Now to find the Slytherin Common Room," she muttered.

"W-why?" Katz did not reply to Jen's question immediately. Instead, she thought for a moment.

"Because I'm going to convert religions," she answered finally.

"What religion are you converting to?" asked Hermione.

Katz grinned an evil grin. "Draco Malfoyism."

Hermione almost fell down.

Katz chuckled and continued to leaf through the book. "Polyjuice Potion," she murmured. "Aha! Found it. Now to find the Slytherins." With that, she ran out of Gryffindor Tower.

~~~Back in the Girls' Dormitory~~~

"Does that religion even exist?" Jen asked Hermione.

"Yes, actually. Lavender and Parvati converted to it last year. They have services on Sunday nights," Hermione replied.

"Wow. Must be organized. I should inform Jess. Gotta go."

With that, Jen quickly got dressed and ran out of the room.

"Americans are so weird," Hermione said aloud.

A moment later, the door opened again, and a disheveled brown head appeared 'round it.

"And I'm Canadian, thank you very much," Jen added. "You complete Brit."

"Oy!"

Jen slammed the door.

~~~In the Entrance Hall~~~

Katz looked around. ‘They should be in the dungeons,’ she thought.

"Miss Potter! What kind of a get-up do you call that?"

Katz whirled around. McGonagall stood in front of the doors to the Great Hall, looking at her over the rims of her glasses.

Katz gazed up at her with bright steel blue eyes. "My uniform," she said humbly.

"Excuse me?"

"It says in the rules that the uniform can be altered to fit the student's preference," Katz explained innocently. "I checked." (1)

"Well, I never!"

Katz merely grinned. "May I go now? I must go locate the object of my affections."

"Please don't tell me that it is Mr. Malfoy, Miss Potter."

"All right, I won't. Your presumption was accurate, nevertheless." With that, Katz smirked, tossed her curls, and walked down to the dungeons, leaving McGonagall in a state of incredulity.

"And I thought she was a bright child," McGonagall murmured at last, sighing.

(1) Please see Ch. 9 of Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing…Rat? by Maya. The original is:

'Mr. Malfoy! What kind of get-up do you call that?'

Malfoy gazed up at her with limpid silver eyes. 'My uniform,' he said humbly.

'Excuse me?'

'It says in the rules that the uniform can be altered to suit the student's preference,' Draco explained innocently. 'I checked.'

katzpotter

07-08-2003, 06:21 PM

~~~In the Dungeons~~~

Katz shut her book with a snap, frustrated. "They just wandered around. Great. Well, I'm going to find a Slytherin, or see if I can find the chapel."

The chapel, of course, was the one in which one could worship HIM.

Katz looked around and perked up her ears.

She head soft singing coming from her right, so she headed down that way. Five minutes later, she came upon the chapel.

A large statue of Draco stood at the altar, and several young first year Slytherins were standing in pews, singing a song of praise.

"And he will save us, fro-om the-e Mu-ggles…"

Katz raised an eyebrow. Instead of leaving, as her conscience told her to, she walked to the very front, picked up a hymnal, and began to sing.

"Yes, he will save us, fro-om the-e Mu-ggles
Fro-om the-e tu-ggles, of our life, of our liiiiiife!"

The song ended and all the Slytherins stared at her, including the organ player.

Katz just grinned. "What?"

"You-you're a-Gryffindor!" said a shocked little first year, who was dressed like a slut.

"I converted. Got a problem with it?"

The little slut stared at her before fainting dead away.

"Just the effect I was looking for," Katz muttered. She looked up. "All right, I'm looking for a Draco Malfoy. Where is he?"

Another little first year pointed shakily to the entrance to the chapel. Draco Malfoy stood there, dressed in full Hogwarts attire.

"So, my little worshipers, what are we up to today?" he asked, coming down the aisle to the front. "Ah," he said as he noticed Katz, "I see we have a new one. What's your name?"

Katz grinned. "You know who I am, Draco Malfoy."

Draco took a closer look, and realized whom she was. "Holy !!!!!"

"Holy !!!!," the other girls (except for Katz) echoed.

Katz smirked. "Holy !!!! indeed, Draco. Yes, I know I'm a Gryffindor. And I know some things about you that some people shouldn't."

Draco's eyes widened. "You know about the socks, don't you?"

"And some other things. Your pajamas, for instance."

"What do you know about my pajamas?"

She walked over to him and whispered in his ear, "That they have red fire trucks on them."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, Slytherins usually hate Gryffindors. But I don't hate you. In fact, I could tell you something about Snape. But I won't. And I won't tell the Gryffindors about your socks and pajamas if you show me where the Slytherin Common Room is and you give me the password." (2)

"And why would I do that?"

"You don't want to risk it. I'm on the verge here, Dracy."

Draco sighed. "Fine. Follow me." Katz followed him to a blank stretch of wall where he said, "Death to Hufflepuffs."

"That's not very nice," Katz said as she followed Draco inside. "Ooh, leather."

"Oi, Jess!"

A head popped out from behind a couch. "What do you want, Draco?" she asked irritably.

"I brought you a present. Found her in the chapel."

"Chapel?"

Jess heard chuckling. "The chapel where one worships the almighty Dracy Wacy," Katz said as she stepped from behind him.

"Draco!" yelled Pansy. "I can't believe you're fraternizing with the enemy!"(3)

"Shut up, you tart. She knew things I didn't want the Gryffindors to know."

"What sort of things?" Pansy asked curiously.

"Embarrassing things that are for me to know and everyone else not to find out. I have a reputation, you know."

“Oh, all right then. I’m sure you’ll tell me everything once we’re married.” She batted her eyelashes at him in a very pratly way.

Katz and Jess both made faces while saying, “EWER!”(4)

Draco cocked an eyebrow. “Beg pardon?”

“We’re not repeating it. You should have listened the first time,” said Katz.

“And Pansy, give it up. Draco hates you,” added Jess.

Draco’s eyebrow went higher. “Excuse me? I do not hate Pansy.”

“Then you dislike her.”

“I’ll give you that.”

“Now sod off, the both of you. I need to talk to Jess.”

Draco sat down on a couch, looking quite comfy.

“I said, SOD OFF.”

Draco laid his head on the armrest, saying, “I’m going to sleep. Don’t mind me.”

Katz pulled out her mobile phone, which, somehow, worked. She supposed someone had put a charm on it. She dialed a number and put the phone to her ear. After a moment, she spoke. “Hey, Jen? Hi. Can you uh, tell Harry that Draco wears”—here she trailed off, looking at Draco. He immediately got up and ran out of the common room—“Draco wears boxers,” Katz finished.

Pansy was still sitting where she had been.

“Pansy, sod off.”

“No.”

Jess leaned over and whispered something in Katz’s ear. “Pansy fancies Millicent Bulstrode. She has a piccy of her under her pillow.” (5)

Katz chuckled evilly, before saying, into the phone, “And Jen, if you happen to see Millicent Bulstrode anywhere, please tell her that”—Pansy bolted—“Pansy thinks her new sweater is really cute.”

The only person left in the room was the oh-so-evil Blaise Zabini.

“Right, Blaise, get out.”

“As if.”

“Jen, please tell Professor Dumbledore that Blaise”—Blaise did nothing—“fancies h”—Blaise was out of there faster than you could say ‘evil purple stuffed bunny named Captain Lint’—“fancies Henry Macintosh.” Henry Macintosh was a 7th year Slytherin.

“Also, Jen, please come on down to the Slytherin Common Room. Go past Snape’s classroom, and keep walking. At the second intersection of hallways, turn left. Then walk to the next intersection and turn right. Walk to the middle of the left wall and say ‘Death to Hufflepuffs.’ It should open. If not, go a step to the right or left and do it again. And forget everything I told you about Draco, Pansy, and Blaise.”

There was a sound of agreement from the phone.

Jess grinned. “Ooh, and fate has it that we’ll make a portrait for Slytherin….”

“Fate is what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over,” Katz replied, grinning.6

“Whatever. We’ll make a portrait anyway.”

“With Draco in his ducky socks, red fire truck pajamas, and his boxers with Snitches on them.”

“He has boxers with Snitches on them?”

“Yeah. Didn’t you read chapter one of Draco Veritas?”

“Erm… yeah. Wait! What about his sword and leather pants?”

“Not to mention jeans and guitar.”

“What’re those from?”

“Maya. Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing… Rat?. Lovely. Hilarious. Spiffy. Did I just say ‘spiffy’?”

“Yep.” Jen walked into the Common Room.

“Hey, Jess! Did you check out Katz’s way traitorous outfit?” Jen said by way of greeting.

“No… Omigosh! Katz! You look like a Slytherin!”

“Yeah…. I’m sitting at the Slytherin table today, you know. And Ravenclaw tomorrow, Hufflepuff on Thursday, and the floor on Friday.”

“The floor?”

“Yes, as in, on my bum.”

“On your bum?”

Draco came in just then. “You’ll want to go have breakfast,” he said smarmily.

Jess and Katz stuck their tongues out at him before following him up to the Great Hall. There, Jen headed off to the Gryffindor table while Katz, Jess, and Draco walked aimlessly to the Slytherin table.

(2) Snape's heart pajamas. See Draco Sinister by Cassie Claire

(3) ‘Fraternizing with the enemy’- taken from GoF. Credits to J.K.

(4) Ewer: ew, gross (One will notice in the course of this text that Katz makes several odd comments with made-up words in them. I will try to give definitions for all of these words.)

(5)Piccy: shortened form of ‘picture’

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 01:40 AM

Katz sat down between Jess and Calliope Ardor, a very attractive fifth year with long, raven hair and icy blue eyes. Calliope immediately scooted towards her Slytherin friends along the bench as Katz sat down.

“Draco, why is there a stupid Gryffindor at the Slytherin table?” Pansy Parkinson, who was sitting across from the blonde, asked haughtily.

“I have no idea,” Draco replied nonchalantly, glancing over at the Gryffindor in question. “Why don’t you ask her?”

“Oy, you,” Pansy said, trying to get Katz’s attention, but failing miserably. “Hey, Gryffindor,” she tried again. However, Katz just kept on chatting animatedly with Jess about – Snape? “Potter!” Pansy finally snapped.

Katz looked up at her. “Yes?” she replied coldly.

“Why can’t you go and join your Gryffindor friends? You may have been friends with Jess on the train, but now Jess is with us. You can leave her alone. She’ll be safe with us, unlike how she’ll be if she hung out with you Gryffindors.”

“Gee, Pansy,” Katz replied smoothly, “you see, I’d love to leave Jess alone, but I’m afraid your ugliness will be passed on to her in my absence.”

Pansy sputtered.

“Besides,” Katz continued, “I don’t want her becoming like you: a silly, ugly, hit-on-Draco-every-chance-you-get little !!!!!.”

Pansy stared at her, mouth open.

“I wouldn’t leave that open for too long,” the witty Gryffindor advised, “as you might catch a fly, and look even more like a frog than you usually do.”

There was a snort of laughter as Pansy snapped her mouth shut. Draco was shaking in a fit of silent laughter. “Good one, Potter,” he managed through his chortles. Pansy looked at him, clearly affronted, but once Draco had started laughing, most of the people in the vicinity had begun to laugh as well.

“Gilbert Seldes once said, ‘Comedy is the last refuge of the non-conformist mind.’ I completely agree,” Katz said. “Pass the butter, please,” she added, picking up two pieces of toast from the plate in front of her. Draco did so, grinning at her. “You know,” Katz mused while buttering said toast, “you Slytherins aren’t all that bad.”

“Course we’re not,” said Calliope, scooting closer to her and smiling. “Everyone just thinks we are, because Slytherin’s turned out so many bad witches and wizards. They don’t know what we do for fun in the common room.”

“Yeah, they all think you torture baby animals,” Katz replied with a grin, “or practice dark spells, or have Junior Death Eater meetings or something.”

Draco choked on his orange juice. “Torture baby animals?” he spluttered.

“Yep. But, uh… here’s a great recreational activity: convince Snape to let you wash his hair.”

This time it was Jess’s turn to choke. “I am not touching his hair,” she said solemnly, once she had stopped coughing.

“Neither am I,” Draco and Calliope chorused.

“Right. Instead, everyone buy him a bottle of shampoo and give it anonymously to him as a Christmas present. That would make for a good prank.”

Draco chortled. Suddenly, a piece of toast came flying over and hit Pansy in the head.

She keeled over, knocked out cold.

None of them paid any attention to it save for the fact that they were thankful someone had done it. Katz looked up to the sound of mad laughter coming from the Gryffindor table.

She stood up. “Nice shot, Jen!” she yelled. There was more laughter.

“She deserved it!” Jen yelled back. “And thanks! Hermione put a Hardening Charm on it!”

“You’re welcome! Thanks Hermione!”

“No problem!”

Snape and McGonagall stood up.

“What is the meaning of this?” asked McGonagall.

“Long story,” replied Katz, sitting back down.

“Ten points from Gryffindor for throwing toast,” said Snape.

“And ten points from Slytherin for yelling across the hall,” added McGonagall.

“Potter’s in your House, Minerva.”

“Well, I’m sure Parkinson was doing something to make Patch throw the toast.”

“I’m sure she wasn’t.”

“Was.”

“Wasn’t.”

“Was.”

“Wasn’t.”

“Was,” said McGonagall, taking a glove from her pocket and slapping Snape with it.

“Wasn’t,” replied Snape, doing the same to McGonagall.

This went back and forth. Katz stood up. “Go McG, go McG, go McG, go McG!” she chanted. The Gryffindor table rose up and did the same. Then the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables rose and followed suit. Finally, Jess grabbed Draco, made him stand up, and started chanting. Soon nearly the entire Slytherin table was doing it as well.

Dumbledore realized this needed to stop. He stood up, pulled a glove out of each pocket, and slapped both Snape and McGonagall.

Everyone froze. Then, as one, the students sat down.

“Now, apologize,” Dumbledore instructed.

“Sorry,” the rival teachers muttered, not looking at each other.

“Everyone, off to class!” Dumbledore ordered. The Great Hall emptied within ten minutes.

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 01:45 AM

***Deep in the English countryside***

An owl fluttered down to a window and tapped it with its claw. A young woman with spiky bubblegum pink hair looked up from the letter she was writing, stood up, and opened the window. She took the letter and the owl flew away.

She looked down at the envelope. Mr. and Mrs. Remus Lupin, she read.

“Remy, we’ve had an owl!” she called into the kitchen.

Remus came out of the kitchen, wand in hand. “Who’s it from?”

Tonks had opened the letter and glanced down at the signature. “Dumbledore. Do you think it’s another task for the Order?”

“No, hun, he said we could have a month off, remember?” Remus replied, nuzzling her neck.

“Oh, stop that and kiss me properly,” she scolded, turning, and for a moment the letter was completely forgotten.

Then they got serious. They sat down on the couch and read it together.

Dear Tonks and Remus,

Remus, remember your first wife, Melissa Patch? And your daughter, whom you had to give up for adoption? Well, I have found her. She is currently attending Hogwarts, under the name Jennifer Melissa Patch. You are welcome to come visit, though I would not recommend this week…. You know why.

Yes, Tonks, you do have a stepdaughter. I’m surprised Remus never told you. It could be because he had a disastrous time with Melissa…. Don’t worry, Jen’s nothing like her mother.

Sirius’s daughter (or at least he believes her to be so) is also here, along with Adam’s daughter… remember Adam Degas? Yes, he has a daughter…. They came along with an odd young lady with an obsession with Lucius Malfoy’s son. Like I said, she’s odd.

Well, I must go and send letters to Adam and Jasmine. Don’t worry, I won’t contact Melissa.

Hope to see you both soon,
Albus Dumbledore

“You have a daughter?” Tonks asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Er….”

“Oh, fun! Now I get a daughter to love and cherish! I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

Remus just looked at her.

“Well don’t just stand there, send him a reply! We’ll be there next week, for a week.”

He sighed and went over to the desk. He wrote a quick reply while she got her owl, Wotcher. When she came back, he tied the letter to her leg (Wotcher’s, not Tonks’!) and let her out the window.

“Oh, I can’t wait, I’ll get to see Harry again… and my stepdaughter, of course.”

Remus grinned and kissed her cheek before heading back into the kitchen.

***Meanwhile, in the calm suburbs of London…***

A blonde woman stood up as she heard a small tap on the window.

She pulled open the window hurriedly, hoping that none of her neighbors were looking. Taking the envelope from the owl, she shut the window.

She opened the envelope.

Dear Jasmine,

Hello. How are you? I’m sure you are fine. I do believe you remember Sirius? And your daughter? Kathleen, I believe you named her. Sirius and I believe that she is currently attending Hogwarts.

Jasmine dropped the parchment in shock, then hastily picked it back up and continued reading.

However, seeing as you might recognize her, we wish that you visit Hogwarts to confirm our suspicions.

Remus’ daughter is here as well, along with Adam’s daughter (You remember Adam Degas, don’t you?), and an odd young lady with an obsession with Lucius Malfoy’s son. Like I said, she’s odd.

We hope to see you soon. Sirius wants to write a bit.

Sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore

P.S. Hi honey! Sorry I haven’t written, but as you know, I’ve been on the run from the jerks at the Ministry. I really think Kathleen (she prefers Katz) is our daughter. She has the same color eyes as me. Yes, well, I love you. Hope to see you soon.

-Sirius

She let the parchment fall to the floor. 'Oh my God…. She’s alive…. I can’t believe it…. I thought she had died… the orphanage told me she had died….’ She began to get a prickling sensation in the corners of her eyes. The next moment, she was sobbing. My baby… my beautiful baby… she’s alive… fifteen years and she’s alive….’

After ten minutes, she regained her composure and wrote a reply, telling them that she would be there next week. Once she had done this, she went into her bedroom and cried some more while looking at a picture of their once complete family: Sirius on the right, his arm around her, while she held baby Kathy.

***Somewhere near Glouchester***

Adam Degas jumped as an owl landed in his paints. Cursing, he took the letter that it held in its beak and cleaned off its talons. Then the owl flew away and Adam read the letter.

ar Adam,

Hello! How goes the painting? I daresay you remember your late wife, Amanda Sabine? And your daughter, Rhapsody?

Yes, well, Rhapsody is currently being schooled here at Hogwarts. I know this comes as a surprise to you as you sent her off to an American family after Amanda died. However, somehow she has ended up here at Hogwarts and is a Ravenclaw…. Perhaps you’d like to come see her?

Remus and Sirius’ daughters are here as well… along with an odd young lady with an obsession with Lucius Malfoy’s son. As I said, she’s odd.

Hope to see you soon,
Albus Dumbledore

Adam dropped the letter. ‘Holy !!!!,’ he thought fervently, before grabbing a quill and scribbling a reply on the back of the letter. He then ran and sent the letter off with his owl, Edgar.

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 01:49 AM

***Meanwhile, in DADA with the Gryffindors***

They filed into the class as Professor Gulenchyn, a tall, gangly witch, wrote ‘Defense Against the Darks Arts Objectives’ on the blackboard. Then she began listing the objectives. “Please write these objectives down,” she said cheerfully, turning the class.

Katz began writing the objectives down, none too happily. If this teacher was like Umbridge….

· To learn spells and countercurses that will defend you against the Dark Arts
· To develop reflexes that will aid in dodging Dark spells and curses
· To extend your knowledge of Dark spells and curses
· To practice spells and countercurses that will defend you against the Dark Arts

“Now,” said Gulenchyn, “wands away, please.”

There was an audible groan. Katz immediately knew that this teacher would not be fun. She raised her hand.

Everyone turned to look at her. “Yes, Potter?”

“Professor, did you know that there’s a curse on this position?”

“I’ve heard rumors of it, yes.”

“The rumors are true.”

“Are they?” Gulenchyn asked, bemused.

“Yes. It must be because of Harry. Ever since he’s been here, teachers have had something bad happen to them.” Katz cast Harry an apologetic look.

“Ahh… what exactly happened to them?” Gulenchyn looked rather nervous.

“Well, the first one was possessed by Lord Voldemort – oh, don’t be pathetic – and had him sticking out of the back of his head….”

“The second one had his memory erased by a faulty wand,” added Ron.

“The third left because he was a danger to the students,” Hermione offered.

“Poor Lupin,” said Jen.

“The fourth was locked in his trunk for nearly ten months under the Imperious Curse.” Harry bit his lip after saying this.

“And the fifth was hated by the whole school, students and teachers alike, and got herself carried off by centaurs.” Katz laughed evilly then. “She deserved it, the biotch.”

“Who knows what’ll happen to you?” said Jen.

“You could be carted off to St. Mungo’s due to pranks played on you; Weasley’s Wizards Wheezes is having a great year….”

“Or you could be sacked due to serious complications from the stress of being mean to the student body.”

“Or you could – ” Jen was cut off by Gulenchyn running out of the room.

“Well, I think that’s the last we’ll see of her,” Katz said cheerfully. “Now, what say we go set off Dungbombs in the Slytherin Common Room?”

There was silence. “Okay, maybe not. Instead, Harry, why don’t you teach us some more spells?”

There was a loud sound of agreement.

They spent the rest of the lesson practicing spells.

In Charms (with Jess) and Potions (with Appy), nothing eventful happened.

The rest of the day was spent in blissful ignorance of anything unusual happening at or outside Hogwarts. However, something was going on….

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 02:09 AM

WARNING: OotP SPOILERS DEFINITE

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Hangnail belongs to Nickelback and Chad Kroeger, and Chad Kroeger belongs to himself. The 'Shirley' pun belongs to the scriptwriter for Airplane!.

Author notes: Acknowledgements:
Thanks to no one for nitpicking, since I haven't gotten it done yet, Jen, for her lovely line, J.K. for Remus/Tonks, my lovely evil mind, and Viggo Mortenson for being so sexy. Also to Lily for plot twists.

Yes, and there are footnotes which will be indicated by this: (number) and will be put at the bottom of the post.

This chapter is dedicated to Sirius, Remus, Jen, Lily, and Tonks.

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 02:25 AM

Three days later, during the period during which they were supposed to be having Defense Against the Dark Arts, Katz sat in the Common Room, reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. However, she had replaced the cover, so that Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Gryffindors had no clue as to what she was really reading.

Suddenly, she sat up straight. “I have to go hex Malfoy,” she said.

“What?” Harry asked, looking up from his Charms homework.

“I have to go hex Malfoy.”

“Why?”

“Don’t get in trouble. He is a Prefect,” cautioned Hermione.

“Good for you,” Ron added absently.

“Ron!”

“Well, he’s had it coming to him.”

“Once again, why?” Harry had to speak over their arguing.

“Cause he’s the world’s third biggest git,” Katz replied.

“Why third?” Jen piped up.

“Because Fudge is the biggest, then Percy.”

“Ahh, I see.”

“Yes, so, toodles.” Katz left.

“Okay, now let’s see what she’s been reading,” Ron said conspiratorially.

“Ron, that’s her business.”

“She’s been making sure we don’t see it. We’re Prefects, Hermione; we should be making sure our fellow students aren’t reading naughty sex trash.”

“Oh, Ron!”

“He’s right, you know,” murmured Harry, going over to pick up the book. He opened it up. “Holy !!!!.”

“Harry!”

“Well, you’d swear too, if you saw what the real title of this book was,” he replied, handing her the book.

“Damn…” she muttered. “How in the world?”

“Bloody hell,” swore Ron. “How did this lady – this J.K. Rowling – get enough information to write” – he turned to the last page – “an eight hundred and ninety-six page book about you?”

“Maybe she’s a witch…” Hermione mused.

Suddenly, the book was snatched from their hands.

“What the hell d’you think you’re doing?” Jen hissed, seething. “You aren’t supposed to see that; it belongs to Katz; it’s her property. You’d better forget about it, or you’ll have Katz, Jess, Appy, and me to answer to.” Jen had her wand out by that time.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione nodded slowly.

“Good. Now, bugger off.”

They did, but begrudgingly. Jen immediately whipped out her mobile and dialed Katz’s number.

“Katz,” she said urgently, “they know.”

“What? Whaddya mean, ‘they know?’ What do they know about?”

“They looked at your book.”

Katz swore colorfully. Then, “What did they say about it?”

“Hermione thinks J.K. might be a witch.”

“Mmmkay. That’s all right. But you realize that we might have to erase their memories?”

“We can’t; we aren’t that skilled!”

“Okay, okay… but what should we do about it? Speaking of which, how far did they see?”

“Heck, I dunno. They saw the title page and how many pages there were before I took it away. I’m a Canadian.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“I have no idea. But we can’t go to Dumbledore about it; or he’ll know, too.”

“Nobody can know. Heck, I’ve got detention with Snape, since I never gave him Prisoner of Azkaban. I realized Tuesday that he can’t see it, and now I’ve got detention. Oh, joy.”

“Your sarcasm is astounding. That was sarcastic, just so you know.”

“I know.”

“Listen, I have to go and call Jess and Appy. Unless you want to call Appy, and I’ll call Jess.”

“Good idea. Ttyl!” (1)

“Bye.”

They hung up. Jen immediately dialed Jess.

“Hello?”

“Jess… Harry, Ron, and Hermione saw Katz’s copy of Order of the Phoenix.”

Jess, who wasn’t particularly fond of cursing, cursed anyway. “How much did they see?”

“The title page and the bottom of the last page.”

“Well, that’s good. Have you told Katz about it?”

“Of course. And, uh, she’s off to hex Draco.”

“What?”

“I think she was reading about Harry getting caught in Umbridge’s office.”

“Ah. But, you know, I think he’s reformed.”

“Huh? What do you mean, ‘reformed?’ He still acts like an asshole, in my opinion.”

“He told me he doesn’t want to be a Death Eater.”

“Why not?”

“Look Jen, he wouldn’t tell me, and I’ve got to go…”

“Oh, right… bye!”

“Bye.”

(1) Yes, my friends and I do use abbreviations. No, I’m not trying to make things easier for myself.

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 02:34 AM

***b***

Katz dialed Appy’s number with a shaking hand. If they found out….

“Yeah?”

“Harry, Ron, and Hermione found my book.”

“!!!!.”

“My thoughts exactly. I went off to curse Draco, because… you know… he’s a git, and they looked at it.”

“But he’s not a git.”

“Come again?”

“He told me yesterday in Herbology that he doesn’t want to be a Death Eater.”

“Why would he confide in you?”

“Because before he told me that, he said he thought Jess was cute. Then I told him that she didn’t like Death Eaters. So he told me he didn’t want to be a Death Eater, and not to tell a soul. But I suppose you can know.”

“Right… did he tell you when he decided?”

“Last year, after he read that interview Harry gave in The Quibbler. He realized that his father was evil and that Voldemort was too.”

Katz reached the top of the marble staircase. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly, Katz heard the creak of a large door being opened, and she heard voices. “Appy, someone’s coming… I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay. Talk to you later. Your common room?”

“Sure; bye!”

Katz stuck her phone in her pocket and peered around the corner. What she saw resulted in a comment that most likely came from a movie she had wanted to see. “What in the hellfire…?” (2)

A young woman with long, light blue hair stood with her hands on her hips and her back to the hall, looking out through the space she had just come through.

“Remy, don’t be a ninny,” she was saying. “Of course they’ll like you. I mean, they had Umbridge last year, for Heaven’s sakes.” She stuck a jean-clad arm through the opening and pulled a man with sandy hair streaked with gray into the hall.

The man sighed. “Nymph, please,” he began, but she cut him off.

“Nonsense, Remus, you’re taking this position, and we told Dumbledore we’d be here anyway, so stop worrying!”

Katz took that moment to begin walking down the stairs, for the couple was absorbed in their argument.

She was halfway across the hall when Remus noticed her.

“Tonks, I really – Hello, who are you?”

Katz froze. “Er… Hi,” she said, walking over to them. “Can I help you? Sorry if I didn’t come over before, but you two were clearly busy.”

“Yes, yes we were. Tell me, who are you? I don’t think I saw you when I taught here before. Are you a third year?”

Katz was, quite frankly, appalled. “A third year? Me? Sir, I am a Gryffindor, and a friend of Harry Potter at that! I sit right in front of him in Potions, and – ”

Remus interrupted her. “So you’re one of the four girls who were transferred here?”

Katz stuck out her hand. “Kathleen Starlett Potter, at your service.”

“Ah, so you’re the one who scared poor Gulenchyn off,” Tonks said admirably.

“Poor Gulenchyn? I think not. From everything I could tell, she was going to be exactly like Umbridge.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m – ”

“Remus Lupin, and this is Tonks, if I’m not mistaken?” Katz looked over to the young woman in question.

“Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin,” replied the young woman brightly. “How did you know?”

“Oh, Order of Phoenix and all that,” the Gryffindor answered offhandedly.

The older couple blinked. “How do you know about the Order? Did Harry tell you?”

“Nope, found out on my own.” She then pulled out her mobile and dialed a number, before adding, “Blue hair suits you, Tonks.” Then, “Hey, Jen? Please inform Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Appy, and Jess that Remus and Tonks Lupin are – ”

Remus could hear the squeal that interrupted her from two feet away. Katz switched ears, rubbing her right one. “Ow, Jen…. Yes, yes, they’re apparently married, Tonks has blue hair, and – oh, forget it, I might as well just take them up to Dumbledore and be done with it!”

She snapped her phone shut, before turning to the couple. “So, shall we?”

“Actually,” said Remus, “I was thinking of going down to the kitchens and nicking a bit of food.”

Tonks looked at him. “You know where the kitchens are?”

“Well, with a bottomless pit like Sirius for a friend, you have to know these things.”

There was a ringing sound. “Oh, bugger,” muttered Katz, before opening her phone again. “Good, thanks Jen, I guess you can tell them to meet us in – ” She was cut off as the bell that signaled the end of classes for the day rang. “Damn, damn, damn damn damn. Hurry up, let’s get down the kitchens!”

They ran for it. No sooner had the door closed behind them that they heard footsteps coming down the hall. “That was close,” Katz panted.

Remus looked at her. In the bright light of the kitchens, he could see her better than the semi-dark Entrance Hall. He gasped.

She looked up at him, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing, I – it’s nothing.”

Katz cocked her head to one side. “That’s weird,” she muttered.

Tonks copied Katz’s movements. “What’s weird? I don’t see anything wrong with him.”

“His eyes change colors, just like Jen’s.”

“They do?” Tonks asked, interested.

Remus looked at her. “You never realized that? All… of my family has eyes that change colors.”

“Actually, I thought that was the mark of a werewolf,” Katz said brightly. “And I do know, just so you won’t be worried. We all do.” She paused. “Hang on….” (3)

“I think we should be going,” Remus said sharply, before grabbing Tonks’ arm and leading her out.

Katz stood there for a moment before it hit her. Immediately, she pulled out her mobile and dialed.

“Jen, I’ve got something to ask you.”

“Yes Katz, pink and purple llamas rule and they shall conquer the world.” (4)

“Jen, I’m serious!”

“Actually, you’re not. Sirius is Sirius.”

“Arrrgh. Listen, are you a werewolf?”

The cry of astonishment could be heard three feet away.

“OW! Bloody buggering Grindylows, Jen! I’m already half deaf in that ear!”

“How in the world could you think I’m a werewolf, I most certainly am not, why – how – you realize that now I’ll have to hurt you? I’m not a werewolf!” She paused. “At least… I don’t think I am.”

“Right, we’ll just send you up to the Shrieking Shack come next full moon… hang on, no, you’re not a werewolf.”

“I told you I wasn’t…. How do you know?”

“Day before yesterday was the full moon.”

“Oh. Okay. So what made you think I’m a werewolf?”

“Well, you know how their eyes change colors?”

“Yeah… oh. I see.”

“But maybe…”

“But maybe what?”

“Maybe you’re the daughter of a werewolf!”

“What in the…? Surely you can’t be serious!”

“Actually, I’m not Sirius Black. And don’t call me Shirley.” (5)

“Arrgh, Katz, cut it out, or I’ll call you something you don’t like.”

“Come again?”

“Never mind… Cat in the Plural.” (6)

“I will kill you.” This was said with no emotion, extremely flatly.

“Naw, you love me too much.”

“I have my wand out, and I am coming up to kill you at this very moment.” Katz left the kitchens, wand in hand.

Click.

“I thought so,” said Katz, bemused.

(2) The movie is Hildago, which comes into theatres October third, and stars Viggo Mortensen *swoon*
(3) OotP and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them both mentioned nothing about a werewolf’s eyes, so I took the liberty of adding this sign.
(4) This line belongs to Phoenix Destiny aka Jennifer Patch. It was pure genius, on her part. She made it up.
(5) Right, that Shirley thing is from Airplane! And I can’t believe I can use the same pun in two straight pages. That is sad.

katzpotter

07-22-2003, 02:44 AM

The chatter of students heading off to dinner met her ears, and Katz skipped into the Great Hall, singing a lovely little ditty with gusto.

“I’m… going to kih-ill Jen, I’m going to kih-ill Jen…”

After noticing that several people were staring at her, she switched to a more peaceful tune, also known as ‘Hangnail,’ sung and played by Nickelback. (Of course, it really wasn’t all that peaceful, due to curse words stuck in here and there by Chad Kroeger.)

Harry was looking at her in that way that most people did after catching her skipping into a room, singing a nasty ditty with gusto, also know as ‘apprehension.’

She grinned at him. “Jen called me ‘Cat in the Plural,’ so now I must kill her. I’m just contemplating quick and easy or slow and painful.”

Harry scooted closer to Ron, which led Katz to choke out a faint gurgle. “Harry, try sitting that close to Hermione.” This caused him to go red. Katz chortled. “Or maybe Draco.” Harry’s face could not have depicted the emotion he was feeling better. Disgust. “Right, I thought you weren’t gay.”

She picked up a plate and was about to load food onto it when she noticed that there wasn’t any food yet. She looked over to the High Table, where Dumbledore was standing up. She was pleased to see that Remus and Tonks sat alongside him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am quite sure you are aware of our current lack of a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, due to an incident three days ago.” Dumbledore glanced over to the Gryffindor table.

Katz stood up. “I’m not going to say that I regret it, or that I’m sorry, for I wouldn’t be telling it like it is. I’ve always believed that a person who doesn’t tell it like it is should be called a liar. Yes, I did scare Gulenchyn off, and she deserved it, because from what I could tell, she was going to be exactly like Umbridge. Thank you.” She sat down. (7)

Dumbledore smiled. “Yes, thank you for your electrifying confession, Miss Potter. Now, I have found a replacement, whom the fourth years and up will recognize. For all those who don’t, this is Professor Lupin.”

There were whispers around the hall. Draco could be heard saying, “How could he allow the werewolf to come back?”

Then Jess, “Shut up, Draco, or I’ll tell everyone about your personal items.” Draco was silent.

Remus stood up. “Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, for that lovely introduction,” he said with a smile. “I will not deny that I am a werewolf, but that is why I have my lovely wife Tonks to take my place. Also, Professor Snape will be mixing a potion for me, so I will be harmless.”

Appy squealed. Remus looked over at her. “Congratulations! I always hoped you’d get together!” Remus raised his eyebrows.

“Right. Tonks, would you like to say something?”

Tonks stood up. “Wotcher, my name is Tonks Lupin – ”

There was a snort from the Slytherin table. “Tonks? What kind of a name is that?”

Jen stood up. “Ron, toast.” Ron handed her a piece of magically hardened toast from his bag. Jen chucked it at Pansy, who had spoken. Pansy keeled over.

Tonks grinned. “Nice shot, Jen. Anyways, wotcher to all who don’t know me, and a special wotcher to Miss Potter, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, Miss Sabine, Miss Lee, and Miss Patch. Gee, that was a mouthful. Anyways, no more goofing off, and I will not change my hair upon request. Thank you.” She sat down.

Remus sat down. “Classes will resume on Monday,” said Dumbledore, before sitting down as well.

The food appeared, and Katz began spooning the lovely ham and potatoes onto her plate, before grabbing a couple rolls, her glass of pumpkin juice, and silverware before going to the spot in between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables and sitting on the floor. There she began to dine on the delectable food, Remus and Tonks staring at her. She gave them a hearty wave before cutting up her ham.

“Professor, why is Katz sitting on the floor to eat her dinner?”

“Well, it seems to me that she feels no particular loyalty to any of the houses, therefore sitting at each table for the first four days of the week, then, apparently, the floor on Friday.”

“Ah, I see.” Tonks, after saying this, waved back to Katz.

Katz grinned before heading over to the Ravenclaw table to nick another helping.

“Hey Appy!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, I think Jen’s related to a werewolf, meet us in the Gryffindor common room at nine for more details.” With that, having gotten more food, Katz headed over to the space in between the Hufflepuff and Slytherin table.

Then, realizing she had forgotten her roll, she went and bent over the Slytherin table.

“Jess, tonight in the Gryff CR, okay? Nine sharp.”

“Oookay.”

***Later that night, nine o’clock sharp***

Katz stood up. Jess had just arrived.

“What’s all this about?” Ron asked, looking at her rather grumpily.

Katz cocked an eyebrow. “Ron, please be quiet, or I’ll have to fong you. This is serious.” (8)

“Actually,” said a cheery voice by the fire, “I’m Sirius.” (9)

As Hermione had cleared the common room out before they had their meeting, it was quite all right for him to be in the fire. Then he stepped out.

“A secret meeting?”

Katz just looked at him, realization hitting her at that very second. He was supposed to be dead. J.K. had killed him off. And Draco was supposed to want to be a Death Eater. How come it wasn’t so?

She began to back away.

“Katz, what’s wrong?” the man in question asked with concern. She just kept backing away.

“Sirius… you’d better go. I know what’s wrong,” said Appy. She turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. “You’d better go too.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she’s about to have a nervous breakdown, and if you don’t go soon, she’ll crack, because this is about S – ” Appy clamped a hand over Jen’s mouth.

“GO, or I’ll hex you!” Jess said, pointing to both the fire and the stairs.

They went. Appy led Katz to a chair, where the girl sat, breathing deeply, eyes closed.

“I can’t believe it just hit me then,” she murmured. “J.K. said he was dead… of course, you three know that I’m in denial, but the canon…”

“And Draco’s reformed,” Jen said, “That wasn’t in canon either.”

“Exactly… and I’m just wondering why. Why is it different here?”

“Maybe J.K. made a mistake. She is human after all.”

“Besides, Katz, isn’t Sirius alive and Draco reformed what you’ve always wanted?”

Katz sighed. “Yeah, but… the canon shows it to be opposite, and – ”

“Hang on,” interrupted Jess, “maybe it’s different in this life. Maybe what happened in the book didn’t really happen here.”

“Then what really happened after everyone read the article in The Quibbler? And how did Draco really react when he found out that his dad was in Azkaban?” Katz asked, looking at them all questioningly.

“And what really happened in the Death Chamber?”

(7) The liar statement is from Snow Dogs.
(8) To fong: “beat the holy living life force out of an organism. Actually, this is not my word. If you have seen ‘A Knight’s Tale,’ you will recall that this is what the Weasley-looking guy tells Chaucer he will do if the family history he writes up fails to enter them in the tournament. Really a funny scene… “Pain, lots of pain!”” Definition courtesy of Animagus Steph, who is an amazingly good author.
(9) Must… stop… Sirius… puns…