The Next Saga

[BroadwayBound]

Let's face it. We need a new one. So here goes nothin....

BroadwayBound and Fleurdelacour hurry through the halls of Hogwarts. They were late to Transfiguration, not a thing you'd want to be. They were each imagining the terrible punishments McGonagall would assign to them, when they came upon a big crowd in the middle of the corridor.

BB: What's wrong?

Student: It's Cedric. He just...disappeared...

Fleur: What?

Student: Yeah, Flitwick was talking to him when he just...vanished.

BB: I wonder what could have happened to him....

**Off Topic**

Sorry for singling you out, Cedric, but I need someone to disappear! :angel:

[Amberion]

BB if you want, you can change it to say I have disappeared and then Ced can play if he wants to

[Cedric]

*off topic*

Hehe, that's okay, not being here is less work for me :D

-Cedric

[Stardust]

Star: some thing up and it is not good.
Fleur:huh?
Star:bad forces at work.
BB:you got that right.
*offtopic*
this will be interesting.:)

[Haldomere Banks]

I have the original Saga and the Sequel in three text files of 50 to 60 K each, if anybody would like me to e-mail them. I tried attaching them here but the file size limit is 1K, which is sort of silly.

Hjal

[Fleur]

Fleur: So lets get this right. Vanished. As in, thereoneminutegonethenext?

BB: That's what's usually meant by the term :rolleyes:

Fleur: Yes... Did you hear a popping sound? He might have just apparated, you know.

Hermione: How many times?! You can't apparate inside the school grounds, Fleur!

Fleur: Right. Well have YOU got any ideas?

Hermione: Well it could have been a number of things. In Hogwarts, a History...

FLeurD: (to Fleur) You shouldn't have asked.

Stardust: Wait! I see him!

Hermione: Where?

Stardust: In that Picture! Look! He's trapped in a picture!

They rush up to see the samll figure of Cedrics waving frantically at them. He sitting at a long table with a couple of other wizards.

Fleur: Cedric! How did you get in there?!

....

[BroadwayBound]

***Off Topic***

Lol!

:rotfl:

[Stardust]

Star: oh, poor ced .:( Um how will we get him out?:confused:
Fleur: don't know really.
BB::jawdrop: how did they get him in there?

[BloodFire]

BF wanders over

What's up, Geeky Gryffs, Haughty Huffles, and Reeking Ravenclaws? Whenever y'all gather in crowds, I can tell something bad is happening. It's like an old war wound that ache whenever it's going to rain...

[Stardust]

Star:Ced got suked in to that picture.
Fleur:we are not reeky,geeky of hughty.Sleasy slythiren.

[BloodFire]

Whatever... :cool:

BF leans on Star's head and shrugs

So someone performed a Virgus Pictura Vir spell on Ced, huh? Can't have been any of us. That's a seventh year spell... :eek:

[Ravenclaw]

Ravenclaw: aha.........

(Off topic: BOO! Creative, BB. Nice twist, peeps, with tha picture thing.)

Ravenclaw: We all know what this Saga really needs to be a real Saga, don't we?

All: What do we need?

Ravenclaw: ME!:D ;) :cool:

All (sarcastically): Right......

BB: What are you doing here? This is my Saga! I started it! Me! ME! Not YOU!

RC: You aren't still sore about when I accidently lost your password, is ya?

BB: No.

RC: Then what's all the screaming for? Let's get Cedric out of that painting! (Super hero music starts playing)

FleurD: Ahem. Let's get you out of this Saga!

RC: Why Miss Delacour! I'm shocked!

FleurD: At what?

RC: That I could make you sound so mean!

Painted Cedric: Can we focus here? I'M IN A FRIGGEN PAINTING!

All: Oh, right.

(silence. A cricket chirps.)

Fleur: Um... What do we do now?

BB: Uh... Wait for inspiration?

(More tense silence..............)

[Colli]

Colli: Um, you guys? Cedric's been in that painting for over 3 months now..

[BloodFire]

BF: Do you think it's cured him of being whiny and Hufflepuffish yet? ;)

BF bookmarks her book, The Emerald Burrito Of Oz and stretchs

BF: At least I've gotten some much need reading done. Hermi-ninny would soooooooo proud. :p

[Ravenclaw]

Hey, um, weren't we inspired at the other place where we continued this thing...

OK, who used the time turner! Come on, admit it! We're back to square one.

And Cedric is just as whiney Hufflepuffish as before. I wonder if he even remembers he's in a painting.

[Colli]

LOL! I don't know whether you guys finished it or not.. I just saw this thread sitting down there and decided to look and see what it was. :)

[Stardust]

I think we're all stuck in the painting as well.:)

[StarGazr]

StarGazr walks up and inspects the scene... she leans a lil closer and whispers... "maybe if you just reach up and pull... he'll fall out?" Everyone stares at her strangely as she shrugs...

if i'm doing something wrong... totally ignore me! :D

[Stardust]

I SAID WE'RE ALL STUCJ IN THE PAINTING AS WELL.
Shesss some people should read all posts before posting.:mad: :mad: :D
Nice name.:)

[StarGazr]

:o :o :o I'm so sorry... I totally misread the posts... I'll be careful next time I promise!!:o :o :o
So... how do we get out... lean forward and hope fall???

[Colli]

A small pale child is sitting on the floor playing... he catches the attention of Ravenclaw and says:

Do not try to get out of the painting. Instead, try to realize that the truth.

Raven: What truth?

Kid: There is no painting..

[Stardust]

Rc: what,wait there is a painting !
Sd:Either that or we got pulled to another part of the grounds or something.
Ced:i think star's right.:)

[BloodFire]

Mass hallucination, I tell ya. We aren't in the painting. *AHEM*

And I quote...

"Shesss some people should read all posts before posting. :mad: :mad: :D"

Don't worry, StarGazr, sometimes my sister has psycotic fits. It has something to do with being in Gryffindor, the witch doctor said. :D ;)

[Ravenclaw]

Originally posted by Colli
A small pale child is sitting on the floor playing... he catches the attention of Ravenclaw and says:

Do not try to get out of the painting. Instead, try to realize that the truth.

Raven: What truth?

Kid: There is no painting..

Hehe. Watching a little too much Matrix, Colli?

ANYWAYS

Rav: Hm, yes, very interesting little-pale-kid. But we didn't ask for your help, did we? Now, you go back to bending spoons, and we'll go back to writing Sagas. OK?

[Colli]

ok, ok, I've been a little hyped up since I saw the Reloaded trailer during the Superbowl. :D


Little Pale Kid: *whimpers* Well, you didn't have to be so mean about it! Little pale kid runs off into another room (which doesn't really exist) and bursts into tears

[Stardust]

Those really don't have anything to do with which house i'm in it has to do with having you for a sister
Star: we should get going ,look for a trail or some thing.
Ced:why do we have to ,why can't we just ask the little kid
BF: becuase he dissapered.

[BloodFire]

Actually, scratch that. We can't ask the pale, whiny, freaky kid 'cause he's a crybaby.

Besides, if we did what he suggested, we'd sit on our lazy bums til we rotted and worms ate us. I am NOT in a worm mood.

[StarGazr]

*StarGazr steps forward* OK so are we in a painting or not in a painting? And if not... why are we just standing around waiting for the worms???

[Elfëa]

Erm... what are you doing?? :confused:

[Colli]

We're stuck in this freaking painting and can't get out!

Raven sent away the only person who could help us... so get us out before she makes you cry and run away, too! ;)

[Elfëa]

How?

[BloodFire]

Colli, it was you and Raven what made Freak-boy cry.

BF pokes a frame hanging midair, testing the make. She swings herself up onto it, kicking her heels lightly

Dunno, Elfea. A Non Virgus Pictura Vir spell, perhaps?

[Elfëa]

Dunno.

I'm really bad with stuff like that... :o

YOu can try... :p So they won't end up as matches...

[Colli]

Oops. :o Why can't I ever remember what I said like, a few days ago? :rolleyes:

.. editing ..

Done :D

[BloodFire]

Colli! Wonderful! Do you think that editing thing you did could get us outta here?

[Stardust]

Don't be silly ,BF,can't and won't happen.

[BloodFire]

BF: Spoilsport. Gah! I wish Draco was here! Then I wouldn't have to suffer y'all all by my little lonesome.

BF sulks and pouts, kicking Star idly like the Slytherin she is

Draco: BLOODY HELL! Where am I? :confused:

BF: Draco! Wheeeeeeee!! :D

BF glomptackles her fellow Slytherin.

BF: We're stuck in a painting. Know why, donkey breath?

[Stardust]

Star: poor draco.:)
Ced: we still have no way out
Star: i wish i had my spell books .:(

[Ravenclaw]

Draco: What in the %*&#^@$ name of Merlin is going on?

Colli: Shut that ugly mouth of yours. You're just a disaster waiting to happen.

Draco: And dang proud of it too! :D

Star: glares at BF Thanks. :rolleyes:

Rav: EVERYONE QUIET!

Astounded silence swallows the group, including the confused Draco. Raven grins.

Rav: I'm having a thought. :D

All: :rolleyes:

Rav: :mad: I can have thoughts too! I'm a human being!

All: :rolleyes:

Rav: ARGH! Well, anyways, as to my thought. I think in the world of paintings, the power dwells in the wish. And thus explaining the sudden appearance of Mr. Malfoy. Hypothetically speaking, if a party of curious young andventurers stumble upon a more-magical-than-usual painting and another person is then asked for and delivered to that very point in space, than the result and logical conclusion would be that the reason he was in the painting was because someone wanted it to be so.

All: *blink*

Rav: :mad: What? I can sound smart when I want to!!

Elfëa: So.... what you're SAYING is that we could just WISH ourselves out of the painting?

Rav holds up a finger about to retort, when a lightbulb goes off over her head. She looks up, then follows the chain attatched to it and sees BF smirking gleefully. BF then pulls the chain and the light goes out again.

Rav: Not funny. Where'd that come from anyway?

BF: I'm good at wishin'

Rav: Well ANYWAYS, actually, Elfëa, no, that wasn't what I was saying. I was merely explaining why Draco arrived here. BUT when you put it THAT way, it does sound pretty smart of me, doesn't it?

All: :rolleyes:

[Elfëa]

Elfea: Hey, how did I end up in this painting anyway? *thinks for a moment* Who wished me here???? :mad:

[Stardust]

Star:um i think i did sorry.:( :)

[Elfëa]

Elfea: Okay, everybody, take hands

about dozen hands try to grasp Draco's... which causes a catfight. Draco looks embarassed and steps back from the fight.

Elfea: STOP THAT!

Draco: Hey, women love me. smirks and BF :swoon:s

Elfea: You. Shut up! BF, get a hold of yourself.

BF: muttering aside Sure. I'll get a hold of him.

Elfea: Draco, take hands with Colli and Ced.

Draco shoots a menacing look at Elfea

Elfea: BF, stop muttering, I can still hear you.

Looks of disgust from Colli "No. You hold your hand like this. and Cedric. Why me? Why can't I hold hands with someone beautiful?"

Draco: fighting with Colli with his other hand (to Cedric) You are. sneers

Elfea: SHUT UP AND HOLD HANDS EVERYBODY. silence, then everyone rushes to take hands.

Elfea: Good. Now, concentrate wishing that we were out from this painting. silence, most people close their eyes

Minutes pass by...

Rav: I have pins and needles. pins and needles suddenly appear on the floor...

Colli: RAV! Look what you did! Rav looks devasted.

Rav: Sorry.

Stardust: It's okay. takes something out of her pocket and throws it to the other end of the painting. Pins and needles fly to the object.

All: What was that?

Stardust: Never heard of magnet?

All: :rolleyes:

Draco: It's a Muggle thing? My dad wouldn't approve...

Elfea&Colli: Shut up.

Elfea: Now, concentrate. shots a look at Rav and Draco.

[Stardust]

Star:I think my heads going to explode.
Ced: This isn't working.
Draco:We know this. :mad:

[BloodFire]

BF: Shut up, Blondie! :mad: You're distracting the genius here! :cool:

BF closes her eyes and 'om's

[Stardust]

Star: Thats going to get anouying.:)
Ced suddenly finds himself in the hall way out side the painting.
Ced: hey i'm in the hall way .Wow, how'd that happen?
Star:I'm here too.Wow.Ced what did you do?:D :)

[Ravenclaw]

As the remaining Cauldroneers stand in a circle, 'om-ing' at BF's request, Rav opens one of her eyes.

Rav: Hey, um, question. Where did Star and Ced go???

The others stop 'om-ing' and look around. BF grins.

BF: Gee, I hope someone wished them to Antarctica. Mighty chilly up there. I would have done it if I wasn't so concentrated on--

Elfea: Quiet!

BF: :mad: You aren't the boss of me Miss I'm-so-smart-I'm-taking-control-of-this-group!

Elfea: Thanks for agreeing with me. :D Now. Did anyone wish Star and Ced anywhere in particular?

Blank looks cross the others faces.

Rav: I've noticed something else.

BF & Elfea: What? :rolleyes:

Rav: We seem to be the only ones left. WHere'd Colli and Draco go? And... whoever else was participating in this adventure.

BF:....... &^%$#@^*&%~#!!!!!!

Elfea & Rav: **Glare.**

BF: :D

Rav opens her mouth to speak, but finds no words come out.

Rav: ...!!!... :eek: :confused:!!!

Elfea: :confused:

BF: :devil:

Are three of our sort-of heros to remain lost and speachless forever??? Are they doomed to a life of exclamation marks and emoticons??? Will Britney Spears ever go bankrupt???

[Elfëa]

Elfea: (to Rav) on count three...

One

Two

Three...

What will happen next? Will the void divers save the three? What had BF done?

[Colli]

:confused: Wow... the sun turned my brain to mush.

Since when do I call Draco ugly? ;)

[Elfëa]

Will Britney Spears ever go bankrupt???

Does that mean we have to wait here so long that her breasts fall off?? :eek:

[BloodFire]

And when did I get so... so... preppy? YUCK!

[Stardust]

oh that was forever a go BF.:)
We got out of the pic and are trying to get the rest of the gangout(except BF and Draco).:D :)

[BloodFire]

BF, bored, falls asleep

ZZzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzZ...

Suddenly, she is falling and outside the pic. Star's comment fills her ears.

BF stands up and punches her sister in the shoulder

Freaks. :p Next time I'll let you rot, instead of trying to help. ;) :p

[Stardust]

Whatever.
the rest of the gang falls out of the picture.:) :D

[Elfëa]

Wohoo!

We got out of the picture?

looks around from the muffled pile of bodies - everyone seems to have fallen on Draco..

Wait! Where are we???

lilac clouds pass them by, drawn by a chariot of palomino horses

[Stardust]

In the hall out side of the painting in hogwarts.:)

[BloodFire]

:trout: I don't think we're in Hogwarts anymore, Toto... I mean, Star...

BF watches a ball made of various types of feet roll/walk cross a giant, gaping chasm in front of them without a bridge.

She picks up Draco and holds him right over where the football crossed... and lets go. Draco remains standing in midair

It's beginning to look a lot like Xanth, yo. :eek:

Right next to the Gap Chasm at the Invisible Bridge. Wonderful.

[Stardust]

Oh yeppies,we get not see were we can walk.:) :rolleyes: :)
We should throw same sand on it.:) :D :)

[BloodFire]

Star Speak: Oh yeppies,we get not see were we can walk.

Translation: Oh yipees, we get to not see where we're walking.

BF: I dunno... I rather like the idea of watching Draco scream when he opens his eyes... :devil:

Come on.

BF walks calmly across the bridge, eyeing the air under her feet as if daring it to drop her

BF: We can head towards Castle Roogna, see if we can't find a way back ta Hoggy Warty Hogwarts.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! At last! I, zi evil Her BF, is at last in charge! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

[Ravenclaw]

The others look at each other nervously, then back to BF, who is threatening to push Draco over. Finally, they shrug. Colli pulls out her wand and mutters something. A red ribon streams out the end of it and over the chasm.

Colli: Stick by the red ribon, and you'll be fine.

BF: OI! I'm in charge HERE! And I say, stick to the red ribon, and you'll be fine. BF then takes her wand and mutters a similar incantation, this time pointing it a different way across the cliff. A blue ribon falls into the black abyss. If you want some chocolate, follow the blue ribon. :D

Rav [starting towards the chasm with an open mouth.]: Mmmm, I want some chocolate...

Right before Rav steps on the edge of the cliff, Elfëa makes a grab for her.

Elfëa: Rav, you bleeding twit, come back her, BloodFire was just--

But it's too late. The absent minded Ravenclaw, who now has the freedom of wordly english speach, steps onto the invisible air non-bridge and tumbles into the unknown.

All: :eek:!!!

Colli: *glares at BF* Now look what you've done!

BF: *Shrugs* It'll be quieter here without her anyway. Who wants tequila? I think there's some over on the other side....

BF walks across the invisible bridge, pulling an unwilling Draco behind her.

Star: What are we going to do about Raven? :(

Elfëa: :( There's nothing more we can do. Say a few words, throw in a lily or two, and respect her memory. I'm gonna miss her crazy antics, silly posts, and ignorant blissfull nature.

Colli: She was a fine troublemaker, and a good, if not somewhat of a controllfreak, general in the MI Toilet war.

Elfëa: And a good fan fiction author, lest we forget. ;)

Sighing, the others continue after BF and Draco, remembering their fallen comrade....

But meanwhile...........

Ravenclaw awakes, slightly bruised, but otherwise fine, on a comfy four-poster bed. She looks around and notices a lovely room, filled with strange paintings and peculiar objects she had never seen before, but looked valuable. The ceiling above her was framed with gold leaf and her bed seemed to be made of the finest mahogany. Her velvate duve and silk sheets seemed most expensive.
Rav didn't seem to care. She sniffed and smiled.

Rav: Mmmm, chocolate......

Rav kicked off the covers of her bed and followed the scent to a large kitchen. The cook jumped in surprise.

Cook: Oh, mistress, you startled me!

Rav (looking past her into the vat of melted chocolate): That's OK. Say, is that chocolate?

Cook: You bet your bunnyears, Miss Stanly. Only the finest chocolate in all the land!

Rav doesn't hear her at first and sticks her finger into the chocolate and licks. She then pauses, the words of the cook just sinking in and turns to her.

Rav: What did you say my name was?

Cook: Why, only Miss Amelia Stanly, the wealthiest young lady around!

Rav (frowning): Is that who I am? I don't remember.

Duh duh DUH!!! :eek:!

What happened to Ravenclaw after that fall? Who on earth do they think she is? Does she REALLY have amnesia? WIll her friends ever find her to bring her back to her senses?

[Stardust]

Star:hang on a minute,acrooco ravanclaw.
rav comes flying back to the group.
Star :it's a simple summoning spell.:)

{for all those who don't know where harry uses this look it up in book four.}:) :D

[Colli]

acrooco?!??!?!?!??!?! :rotfl:

Nevermind. BF, she's all yours. ;)

[Stardust]

i don't remember how to spell it.:)
BF:why did you bring her back?
Star:cuase she has memerlost.:)

[Elfëa]

I don't even want to know what's memerlost.... :eek:

it's accio! :p

[Stardust]

Okat thanks and i ment to put a y on the end:)

[BloodFire]

Who has memory loss? There's no one here! If you meant to bring Raven back, sis, it didn't work!

Come on, stick to the path. It's enchanted. Nothing can harm you, except Draco and I, as long as you stick to this path.

Hopefully we'll find a native guide...

:worried: :worried:

[Stardust]

DO NOT CHANGE MY STORYLINE I NEED RAVEN HERE AND SHE IS!!!!!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:
Star:Bf you are day dreaming she's standing right here.
Ced:Yes she is.
Raven:Where am I?

[BloodFire]

BF catches Star as she collapses, muttering about Raven.

Carefully, BF checks her temp

BF: She's burning up. We're going to have to carry her.

Ced: What about this Castle Roogna?

BF: We'll keep going. They'll have a healing potion there. Just gotta move faster now...

Draco: But-

BF punches Draco, knocking him unconsious

BF: We'll carry him, too. Does any one remember that spell Prof. Snape used to bring Potter back to school the night Black escaped? (HPatPA)

[Ravenclaw]

**Off Topic***
Sry, Star, it seems BF is taking the story to far more interesting places if I stay in my mystery mansion... Which, by the way, is fine with me. ;)

**On Topic**

The remaining cauldroneers lead a fever-stricken StarDust onward to the Castle Roogna. Elfëa grumbles about having to carry the unconscious-- and now snoring-- Draco Malfoy.

Elfëa: Argh, he's heavy.

Colli: I'll take him off your hands, if you want me too. ;)

Elfëa throws Draco on the ground at Colli's feet.

Elfëa: There!

Colli: I hope you didn't hurt him.

BF: I hope she did.

Colli recalls the spell Snape used way back when, being the know-it-all student she is (:p) and conjurs up a stretcher to carry Draco behind them with.

BF: Or, you know, we could have just floated him in front of us, like Sirius did with Snape.

Elfëa (grinning): Yeah, but she doesn't know that one.

Meanwhile...

Ravenclaw and the cook, whose name she has learned is Bertha, walk in the garden outside of Raven's grand mansion.

Rav: So, I'm like, this queen, or something?

Bertha: Or something. :)

Rav: So I like, own a lot of land.

Bertha: Some land. You're kingdom's actually very small. It goes from that tree right there... Bertha points to a tree on their left on the edge of the property.... To that river over there. Bertha points to a river on the other edge of the property.

Rav: Oh. So, basically, I just own this mansion. Does anyone, you know, live on my land? Like, royal subjects?

Bertha: Well, there's that crazy lady on the edge of your property that dresses in rags and screetches in the middle of the night.

Rav: She a banshee?

Bertha: No, her hair's too dark, but she did highlight them to make it look like it, I think.

Rav: Oh. OK. So, I can boss her around?

Bertha: Be my guest!

Raven walks to the edge of the property to a small cave in the mountain. From within, she hears a whining like she has never heard before. Covering her ears, she calls into the cave.

Rav: My loyal royal subject! Could you please quit that racket? I am your queen, so bow to me!

The monster in the cave groaned and it made Rav's bones rattle.

Monster/Banshee thing: AAACK! Who are YOU to tell me what to do?

Rav (confused): I thought I made it perfectly clear. I'm your QUEEN darn it, so LISTEN TO ME!

To her surprise, Raven hears sobs from the creature. Soon, the sobs grow lowder and Raven sees a young-ish girl, wearing little more than rags, appear at the cave entrance.

Weird Girl: I used to be the Pop Princess. And now, look at me! I'm nothing! NOTHING!

The girl wails some more.

Rav: There there, banshee/monster/girl person.

The girl looks up and stops crying. Her gaze becomes acusing.

Girl: I know you! You're that witch who foiled my evil plans years ago in a previous saga! Ravenclaw, they called you!

Rav: I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm Amelia Stanly, ruler of this, er, property, and you must bow down to me!

The girl shakes her head: Oh no, don't tell me YOU'VE forgotten me too! Remember? I ate so much, I filled up a whole stadium! It's me, your evil arch-nemesis, Britney Spears!

GASP!

Rav:....... SO...... Are you bankrupt?

The girl nods sadly.

Rav: WOHOO! Whoa, I do not know where that came from....

What will become of Raven and Britney? Will her old enemy turn on her, or will she aid Raven in finding her true identity? Will Raven's friends ever find her again? Will they ever reach Castle Roogna? And will Star ever snap out of her feverish delusion???

[Stardust]

BLAH this is no fair i don't think we're in zanth.So BLAH I QUIT!!!!:mad:

[Colli]

[Off topic]
Star, smiley when you say that, please. :)
[on topic]

:D I so enjoy listening to everyone tell me what happens to me... carry on!

( and :swoon:at the Draco falling at my feet bit)

[Elfëa]

Am I turning out to be like Hermione??? Evil!Hermione? :eek: :D

Great.

[BloodFire]

BF: Evil Hermione rox. :devil:

BF pokes Elfea as the path begins to to meander under what looks to be a very large and mutated willow tree. She stops the procession

BF: Here's where we make an exception to the rule, folks. Everybody off the path, NOW!

Ced: Hey! Why? :mad:

BF: Everybody see that tree? Yes?

Everyone: Yeeees...

Elfea: So? What's about the tree?

BF: Well, for starters, IT WANTS TO EAT YOU FOR LUNCH! Off the path!

Everyone: :eek: Yes ma'am!

BF: Good. And watch the stretcher.

BF steps off the path, away from the tree and steps carefully around a stinkhorn

BF: Keep your wands out and step only where I step.

Xanth is dangerous. Partially because every pun that exists is literal here.

We meet a dragon, feel free to test your "Avada Kadavra"s.

[Elfëa]

I get to AK??? GREAT! :D

[Ravenclaw]

Oh dear! I never meant to scare star off! I didn't know I was so wanted! But honestly, we need some variety here! :(

All right, Star, you can do whatever you want. I'll obey. I will try. :devil:

[BloodFire]

Don't spoil her anymore than she already is. She needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around her.

Keep going with your storyline.

Please? :(

[Stardust]

The world revoles around me.HA try around you.:mad:

[Elfëa]

I have no idea where we are anyway.

Besides, I have no idea how I ended up here anyway...

Are we over that chasm already??? :confused:

ANd the World revolves around handsome men. Seriosly :swoon:

[Ravenclaw]

BF: Holy potatoe skins! This thing is friggen contageous!
BF glares at the feverish star
And it's all thanks to you! Now Elfëa's delusional!

Draco: Have you ever thought that the crazy ones are really the ones who see the truth and we're the ones who are blind?

There is a silence as the other healthy cauldroneers look skeptically at Draco.

BF: I think he's got it too.

Colli: No, wait a minute, he could be on to something...

BF: Really? This is a first. :rolleyes:

Colli: :trout: Be nice to my poor Draco! :swoon:

BF: :rolleyes: Oh dear, she's delusional too. She's swooning over Draco. IS EVERYONE AROUND ME INSANE?!?!

Elfëa: I'm not insane, just a tad confused.

Star: Pink dinasaurs shouldn't eat green tunafish because it makes them breakout into purple polkadots and sprout wings and fly far, far away........ :sleep:

BF: O... K.... I think I'd rather have fallen down that chasm with Ravenclaw.

And speaking of...

Britney is telling rav everything about her life before "Miss Amelia Stanly."

Britney:... ANd you always hated those stupid, stupid Cauldroneers with a passion! And you were my minion and you worshipped me like the Pop Godess I was. Oh, and you hate those stupid Cauldroneers.

Rav: Hate Cauldroneers. Gotchya.

Britney: And since you got lots and lots of money now, Miss Amelia, do you suppose you could use it to help me wreak havoc across the land of Xanth?

Rav: Uh... I guess. What's Xanth?

Britney: The world above the chasm floor, where you, er, rule.

Rav: Ah, yes.

Britney: Now, I suggest we lure those stupid Cauldroneers that you hate SOOO much into a trap and then--

Rav: OY! I've got the money, I make the plans!

Britney: Gothcya :LOL: :devil:

[Elfëa]

Rav - like your sig...

Elfëa: I'm not insane, just a tad confused.

The story of mylife, please do continue. And don't forget the

"I may have my faults, but being wrong is not one of them. :p"

[Ravenclaw]

**Pst... You guys can jump in at any time here... or am I writing this myself?

Thanks Elfea! :D If you wanna know more bout where I got it, PM me.

[Elfëa]

One PM on the way... ;)

wait... I know where your sig's from. I've read the story :p

[BloodFire]

Mwahaha*hack*

Got find my copy of "The Guide To Xanth", find something mildly horrid to inflict upon you. ;) :p

Oh. Somebody get Ced and the other back in here! All of 3 posters tain't that interestin'!

[Xazinon]

Ooh, interesting and strange! A good mixture. ;)

Shame you guys have ground to a halt a bit! Anything I can do to help proceedings? :)

[BloodFire]

OT: Can you conjure up a Ced? Maybe?

IT:
BF: It's probably even insaner down there... which explains my longing to be there... Yeah.

LET'S GO!

Everyone winces and glares at BF.

BF: Oops. My bad. Elfea! Wand please!

Elfea pulls out a wand and passes it to BF

Elfea: Wand!

BF: T'ank you! :kiss: * waves wand* ACCIO GUIDE TO XANTH!

Ced: *clears throat Ummm, BF? Will that work?

BF gives Ced an especially insane smirk and gives the wand back to Elfea

BF: Dunno. Guess we getta find, huh, Ced-weddy?

Draco: Oi! :mad:

BF: *glances over her shoulder at Draco* Handkerchief?

Draco: NOW SEE HE- What?

BF: Your nose. It's bleeding, dear. Colli?

Colli: Oh, no! Draco! Here, hurry, before it ruins your robes!

Colli passes Draco a handkerchief. He quickly presses it to his nose

Draco: Dank you. Now, bac-

A slim paperback nails him, gives him a nasty bruise on his temple

BF: MAH BOOK!

Colli: DRACO! :eek:

Draco: My heeeadd.... :sleep:

BF grabs the book, Colli runs to help Draco, Elfea sets Star down, and Ced tries to read over BF's shoulder

BF: Castle Roogna, Castle Roogna, Castle Roogn- AH HA!

Elfea/Ced/Draco/Colli: What? WHAT?

BF: I found my favorite bookmark! :D

Ced: AGGGHH!

BF: Geeze, sorry!

BF flips through the book, search for any and all entries on Castle Roogna. Soon she looks up, grinning :devil: ishly

BF: All praise to BF! I gots it!

She stabs her finger at the book. Ced leans over and read aloud

Ced: "To the southwest of Humfrey's castle" yada yada.
"...built on a wager." yada yada.
"...is haunted by ghosts" (BF: Just like home!) yada yada.
"...ready to see them." yada yada.
"...a gigantic Tapestry," yada yada.
"Magic mirrors," yada yada.
"...a cellar in which good wines are kept," Why is this page bent?

BF: So I can find it. I liiiiiike wine...

Ced Oh. :rolleyes: Onwards, then. "...books of spells..." yada yada. No useful info.

BF: *flips to a different page, points* There, silly.

Ced: I really need my reading glasses...

Elfea/Colli: WELL?

Draco: *bored almost out of his skull* Please, enlighten us...

Ced: Well, i-

Star: PURPLE! :sleep:

BF: Hurry up, Ced!

Ced: Well, it's a map. Here's that Gap Chasm thing we crosses, and here's Humfrey's castle. Here's where we are...

BF: All we gotta do is keep going S/SW, stay on the path and avoid, according to this guide here,*flips to a new page* lots of things, and we're home free!

LET'S GO!

Once again, everyone winces.

BF: Sorry. Forgot. Let's go.

[Ravenclaw]

Aha, yes, the Saga continues!

XAZ! Howdy! Please do participate in this saga! We can alway use your expertise!

OK, back ON TOPIC.....

Rav: OK. So, first, we have to find out where these cauldron people are, yeah?

Britney: Good idea. You got some funky mirror thing up in that mansion over there.

Rav: I have just one question...

Britney: Yeah?

Rav: If you live on my land, do you pay me rent and/or taxes?

Britney: Uh..... ABout that mirror, let's go get it.

Raven and the evil conniving singer climb the stairs of Raven's mansion and set up shop in her attic, where the 'funky mirror thing' is kept.

Rav: OK. Mirror mirror in my hand, show me the cauldroneers in Xanth land.

The mirror reveals BloodFire, Cedric, a feverish stardust, Elfea, Colli and a dizzily bored Draco (sorry if I missed someone). They seemed to be reading a book of somesort. Then, BloodFire led them onward.

Britney: I suggest you send out your dragons to bring them to us.

Rav: Dragons? I have dragons?

Britney nods.

Rav: Sweet!

Meanwhile....

BF: OK, um, we go... this way.

Cedric: Which way?

BF: THIS way.

Colli: That way right?

Elfea: No, left, dummie!

Colli: Don't call me a dummie!

BF: NO! GO THIS WAY!

BF continues straight ahead of her. The others look at each other and shrug. Little did they know that they are being closely observed... By friend or by foe is for you to decide....

[Xazinon]

**off topic**

Sorry BF, I'm all out of Cedrics! I think I used my last one in the gumball machine! Curses!

Hi Ravenclaw! Long time no see! Good to see you haven't lost your writerly touch! :)

Expertise? That's nice of you! I'll do my best! :)

**on topic**

There is a clunk and everything goes black. Xaz blinks and stands up, stretching, before scowling.

X: "Aww, nuts! The viewing telescope is out of money again! Lousy stupid ripoff! Got any more change, Watson?"

Xaz turns around to find Watson putting change into a vending machine. Xaz crosses his arms and sighs, looking at Watson. There is a vending-machine-dispensing-candy sort of noise, after which Watson unwraps and happily starts munching on a chocolate bar. He turns around and looks at Xaz sheepishly, mid-munch.

W: "UMM, SORRY XAZ, I JUST RAN OUT OF CHANGE ACTUALLY. I COULDN'T HELP IT! ALL THAT TALK ABOUT CHOCOLATE MADE ME HUNGRY. MMM, CHOCOLATE..."

Watson returns to his chocolate bar with a happy sigh. Xaz rolls his eyes and turns back to the telescope, squinting vainly and trying to see something, anything.

X: "It was just getting good too! They were all on that path, except for that one in the mansion, and they were being closely observed, and we didn't know if it was friend or foe! Very exciting!"

Xaz sighs and slumps against the wall, watching Watson eat his chocolate bar. Watson eventually finishes and puts the wrapper in the bin, observing the cleanliness and thoughfulness that is a hallmark of any windup turtle. He turns to look at Xaz.

W: "YKNOW, WE WERE OBSERVING THEM... YOU DON'T FIND THAT A COINCIDENCE?"

Xaz blinks and grins.

X: "Nope, can't say that I do! However, I do find it a flimsy and vague enough deduction to get us into the story! Good work, Watson! To the storyline!"

Xaz races to the elevator, before skidding to a halt and racing back to wind up his turtely buddy. They both get on the elevator and discuss their course of action.

X: "So, what do you think Watson? Should we be good guys? Or nasty evil guys? Or mysterious Yoda-like guides we could be, yes!"

Watson clubs Xaz with his whiteboard before he gets too carried away.

W: "NOT NOW, XAZ! THE NEXT TRAIN ON THE STORY LINE IS LEAVING IN FIVE MINUTES! WE REALLY HAVE TO LEG IT TO MAKE IT ON TIME!"

They get off the elevator and jump into two pairs of giant legs, one turtle sized and one human sized. Using the legs, they pound their way to the station and manage to catch the train. Puffing and panting, they find a seat and sit down.

X: "This pun thing is going to be tricky, Watson! All my clever witticisms and charming byplay could be in danger of doing us more harm than good! Why, you might say it could really come round and bite us on the butt!"

Xaz and Watson yelp as one and leap into the air, crashing onto the floor and rubbing their behinds. Watson gives Xaz a glare.

"IDIOT."


Meanwhile...

'Miss Amelia' (aka Ravenclaw) and Britney have gone to the dragon stable to check them out and send them to do their evil bidding. On entering the stables, they pass a room which seems like nothing but singed timbers and general miscellaneous wrecked stuff. Oh, a stupid name, you think? But accurate!The narrator points to a shonky looking crate with the label 'Miscellaneous Wrecked Stuff'.
Ravenclaw looks puzzled.

"THIS is my dragon stable? Where are all the dragons? And why is it such a dump?"

Britney looks faintly embarrased and scratches her head.

"No no, this is, er, WAS your stable before you figured out that wooden stalls just wasn't working. The REAL stable is in here."

They pass through the old stable and arrive in a gigantic cave, complete with artfully carved dragon stalls and all, as it should be. Ravelclaw and Britney walk the rows of dragons, admiring their size, their scales and their lack of a need for cooking facilities.

Britney: "We keep them well fed, but hungry enough that they are able to go on a bloodspilling flight of mayhem if you so wish it."

Ravenclaw: "Excellent, excellent."

They walk up to a stall which has the nameplate of the dragon inside reading as 'Bloody Vengeance'. Ravenclaw grins.

R: "Ooh, he sounds vicious! Let's use him!"

Britney raises her hand as if to stop her, but Ravenclaw marches into the stall.

R: "You! Bloody Vengeance! Go and find those dastardly Cauldroneers and bring them to me, so that I can deal with them personally! Hahahahaha!"

Ravenclaw stops laughing and blinks. Looking into the stall, she finds two dragons, deeply immersed in a game of chess. One of them, smoking a stone pipe so as not to disintegrate it, turns to look at her.

Bloody Vengeance: "Umm, Exalted Master, is it just me, or does that sound a little evil? Have you considered the moral implications of such evil? It's really very naughty, is evilness, and I don't want any part of it!"

Britney pulls Ravenclaw to one side.

B: "I tried to warn you... Bloody Vengeance here aint quite right. He's got something called 'morals' whatever they are, and refuses to do anything evil."

R: "So, why do we keep him?"

B: "Well, he is still a dragon, and is fun for rides in the countryside. Plus, his brother is the biggest, meanest dragon of them all, and no-one wants to mess with him!"

R: "Really? Big? Mean? Nasty? Ooh! Let's get HIM to do our evil bidding!"

Britney smiles wickedly and nods approvingly. She walks out of the stall and yells down the passageway.

B: "Dragon Steward! Fetch... DAFFODIL! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*****************************

[Stardust]

Star:Unicorn!!
BF:What are you talking about??
Star points to a dragon in the sky.
Ced:Um..Is that a dragon?
Bf:yep.:)
Star:dragon!!
points at Draco.
***OffTopic***
I decided i'd come back.:)

[Xazinon]

***off topic***
Oh dear.. I hope I didn't scare you guys off, did I?

LOL, feel free to ignore both the Watson and Xaz characters in the interests of story continuation: I just HAD to give myself at least a cameo! :D

[BloodFire]

No, no, feel free to bring them into the story! We NEED more people! Post, post!

[Ravenclaw]

No worries, Xaz. Star was scared away before you came by BF and I... But that's a long story.

Welcome back, Star!

ON TOPIC:

The violent dragon Daffodil snapped at the dragon steward and its trainers. Miss Amelia and Britney could see its huge shadow behind the stall. It let out a terrible growl as it frothed at the mouth. But as the trainers and the steward brought the beast out, it saw of Raven/Miss Amelia and it stopped and jumped on her and began to lick her face like a happy puppy. That was when Raven realized the poor beast was the size of a labrador.

Rave: Down, doggie!

Raven laughed as the reptile licked her face, happy to see its master.

Britney: Oh, get that thing off and send it out to attack!

Rave nodded and sat the pup-- I mean, *cough* DRAGON pup-- up.

Rave: *cackle* Bring me the cauldroneers, and their little wind-up turtle too! *cackle.*

Britney leans in close to the dragon steward.

Britney: Wind up turtle...?

Daffodil perked up and began to growl viciously. With him flew dragons Sunshine, Moonbeam and Pinkie, both ten times Daffodil's size, but not as vicious as the little (kinda cute) beast!

Rave: Fly, my pretties, fly, FLY!

:devil:

[Xazinon]

As the dragons wing their evil way outwards, the intrepid cauldroneers continue their intrepid journey full of intrepidness. As the narrator is soundly beaten for the overuse of the word intrepid, the company continues on their way to Castle Roogna, BloodFire leading the way. Will the rest of the party descend into madness? What horrors await then? Ooh, let's find out!

Elfea: "Um.. Bloodfire?"

BF: "What?"

Elfea: "This castle: S/SW you say?"

BF: "Yep, that's what the book said. With all the dangers and stuff, I can't wait!"

Elfea: "Er, yes. About this S/SW thing..."

BF: "Ah, danger! It could be dragons, or hideously bloodsucking lawyers, or even giant toasters! The possibilities are endless: I just have to decide which one of you will have to be sacrificed to save me in each instance. Cedric and Star seem to like dragons, soo..."

Elfea: "BLOODFIRE! The S/SW bit.."

BF: "Hmph, what about it?"

Elfea: "Well, I've noticed we don't have a compass, so how do we know we're going the right way?"

BF: "We're following the path, stupid."

Elfea: "Um, what path?"

BF looks to the ground and notices that there does not seem to be any kind of path beneath their feet. Stardust dances by, spinning in circles, with a harassed looking Cedric chasing after her trying to catch her. Colli is giggling at Cedric's antics while clinging onto Draco's arm, Draco trying vainly to tug his arm free in an effort to get some circulation into it. BF turns to see Elfea looking at her quizzically, waiting for an explanation.

BF: "Well, er, the path is still here, it must be! Just hidden under the ground. I can tell it's still S/SW by the position of the sun, see!"

Elfea (flatly): "It's nighttime."

BF: "Well, we're magicky people aren't we! I did a spell so I can see where the sun is at all times! Yep, that's it! Magic!"

Elfea (doubtfully): "Uh...huh. If you say so!"

BF: "And I do!"

Elfea: "But shouldn't we stop for nighttime anyways? Those dangers you mentioned might catch us unawares in the dark!"

Elfea looks around nervously. Bloodfire grins.

BF: "Yeah, I know. And if we stay still, it might make it easier for them to find us! Isn't it great?"

Elfea gulps.

Elfea: "Well, umm, how about a light at least then?"

As Elfea speaks, a gigantic lightbulb comes crashing down from the sky, missing her by the barest of margins.

Elfea: "Yikes! Not quite what I had in mind!"

Shaken, Elfea gathers herself and casts an illumination spell, allowing the Cauldroneers to see for a new metres around them. Draco, having since resigned himself to losing all feeling in his arm, blinks.

Draco: "Hey, what's the deal? That path we were on has vanished!"

Colli gasps at his insight appropriately.

Draco: "I bet this is the doing of Potter, that goodie-goodie mudblood sympathiser! Why, when I get my hands on him, I'll..."

Colli sighs and looks at Dracco adoringly as he unleashes a torrent of Harry Potter related rage.

Colli: " I do so love it when he gets mad at Harry. He looks so cute when he's mad!"

*********

Elsewhere, the Story Line train onto which Xaz and Watson had gotten pulls into a stop. Xaz peers out the window.

X: "Do you think this is the right stop, Watson?"

W: "NO IDEA! SO FAR, WE'VE GOTTEN OFF THREE TIMES AND NONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN THE RIGHT STOP."

Xaz grins.

X: "Ah, but what fun we had in the meantime! Remember that first stop, when I became a lovely young Southern belle and you were a blockade runner in the American Civil War, with that oh so handsome mustache? Shame it all had to end with the beachball incident! "

W: "WE WERE LUCKY TO GET OUT OF THERE ALIVE. NOW LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF THE BEACHBALL INCIDENT AGAIN."

X: "Well, how about the second stop, you liked that one! Remember? Where I was that wacky Xaz Helsing character and you were that loveable rogue vampire fella, Watsona!"

W: "YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME! THAT WASN'T FUN AT ALL!"

X: "Oh, right. I'm the one who like that one, hehe!"

W: "AH, BUT THE THIRD ONE! WHERE I WAS THE WORLD FAMOUS DETECTIVE SAM SPATULA, AND GOT TO DO ALL THAT NEAT "THURSDAY, 3AM" SORT OF STUFF... THAT WAS FUN!"

X: "For you, maybe! You weren't the Maltese Falcon! All I got to do was sit there and be inanimate, and that can get boring after a while!"

Watson peers out the window with Xaz.

W: "SHALL WE TRY THIS ONE?"

X: "Yes, I think so! I have a good feeling about this one!"

Watson and Xaz get off the train and walk out of the station, cautious and hesitant. Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light. The two adventurers cover their eyes quickly, before slowly opeing them. Looking around, they see a lovely garden complete with flowers in bloom and a scenic looking path winding through it. Xaz smiles.

X: "Hey, Watson! This one is pretty good so far, don't you think?"

W: "UM, XAZ..."

Xaz looks down at his turtely buddy and gasps upon finding him to be not so much a turtely buddy as a doggy buddy. Then he catches sight of his own feet: nice petite looking black shoes. He gulps and looks over the rest of his outfit: a blue and white checked dress, with his hair prettily tied back in a blue ribbon. He quickly turns his gaze back to the path he had seen earlier, and upon closer inspection noticed it had a distinct goldeny colour that he hadn't noticed previously. Watson points his attention back to the station from whence they came and, sure enough, beneath it a pair of boots could be seen sticking out and smoking.

X: "Yknow what, Watson? I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

W: "KANSAS? WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO KANSAS, XAZ! WE'RE FROM AUSTRALIA, REMEMBER?"

X: "Yeah, kind of. I don't even really know why I said that. I just felt like I was supposed to."

W: "WOOF! WO..URGH, YES, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL..OF!"

The strains of a half remembered song start to play in the background, and there is a rustling amongst the flowers, a rustling that is soon attributed to a number of diminutive looking people. Xaz and Watson look at each other and sigh.

Together: " Here we go again!"

************************

:D

[Ravenclaw]

Yeah Dorothy!

Come on, guys, Xaz and I can't keep this up by ourselves! BF helps, but where are the rest of you???

---------

Rav: OK, I feel like killing off some characters.

Britney: Oooooh, like who?

Rav: Who ever hasn't posted in a while. A long while. Namely, Cedric.

Britney: He'll be the first... *cackle.*

In the meantime, with the other cauldroneers...

Elfea: Hey, um, BF?

BloodFire: Shut up. Busy. Lets see, if south west is that way and north is that way and the moon is up and little wormies squiggle in dirt underground, then that means...

Elfea: BloodFire?

BF: I said shut UP, you little magot! That means that...

Elfea: BLOODFIRE!

BF: WHAT!

Elfea smiles and points upward. BF follows where her finger is pointing to and grins.

BF: Oooh, a menacing shadow! What could that menacing shadow be?!

And as she said it, fire spewed from one of the shadow's mouth and lit up the world around them for a split second.

Colli: I think I have a pretty good idea.....

[Elfëa]

I'm lazy and enjoy reading this too much. :p :o :p :D

I'll post some. When I get good ideas ;)

[Stardust]

Star:Friday!!!!Heehee
Ced:HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
BF:HUh,whats wrong ced???
Ced:HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cedric]

Cedric stops suddenly

Hold ON!

Everyone stops with him

Better..... Now I have something to ask.... How can I die when I'm already dead?

People start rubbing their chins, as if they had beards... But no one really does

Ha! Didn't think so.... Now if you don't mind I'm running away to join the circus, does anyone want to come with me?

*Off topic*

If that post had no relation to anything going on, sorry :D

-Cedric

[Ravenclaw]

Yowser, he does have a point.

Bye bye Cedric! :wave:

[Xazinon]

So, which one of you crazy kids re-animated Cedric's corpse eh? :D

Good luck at the circus, Ced! If you can't think of an act, try breaking off various body parts and juggling them: I hear zombies are good at that kind of thing! ;)

Unless you're a ghost, of course! Ooh, spooky! Hey, then you could be the Spectre-acular Cedric! Get it? Spectre? :D

Waits for the groans and nods in approval upon hearing them.

Won't post anything about the continuation of the saga for a few days yet, in case anyone else wants to have a go in the meantime! Feel free to pitch in, fellows!

[Stardust]

xaz stop picking on ced.:)

[Xazinon]

Nah, he loves the attention Stardust! Doncha Ced? ;)

Hey, how about Cedric the Phantom-astic? :D :D

If no-one else wants to add anything to this saga in the meantime, I shall try and do so tomorrow! Think about it: should a wacky (albeit cute!) guy like me be controlling your lives in the palms of my keyboard, er hands, whatever?

Xaz laughs wickedly and wanders off, for now...

:)

[Ravenclaw]

i would post sommat but i am incapacitated. good luck xaz!

[Elfëa]

I'm too lazy. Go ahead and post something. Maybe I'll find inspiration as well... ;)

[Stardust]

Star:hungy.
BF:Huh?

[Xazinon]

Incapacitated, Ravenclaw? Oh dear! I sincerely hope it won't interfere with your nefarious schemes! ;)

************

When we last left our adventurers, they were being confronted with a menacing shadow and some spewing fire. Any logical person, upon reading this saga, would suspect it to be the work of dragons. Indeed, anyone with a basic knowledge of dragons would suspect the involvment of those winged beasts of terror. And, well... they'd be right! It is dragons! Let's see who gets flash fried first!

Elfea: " I really do object to the term flash-fried.. it sounds so nasty!"

BF: "Really? I thought it wasn't nasty enough!"

The dragons swoop in on the Cauldroneers, who dive for cover. All except for Stardust, this is, who wanders dazedly towards them thinking they might have food. BF reluctantly pulls her out of the reach of the dragons.

BF: "I hate saving you like this, but it's nice to have a crazy person to laugh at when we're busy getting lost. We can feed you to the dragons later!"

Colli: "Um, OK, but how are we going to stop us all being eaten by dragons in one big gulp?"

Elfea: "Well, we're wizards! We can do magic on em! If Harry Potter can beat a dragon, why can't we?"

Draco: "Stupid Potter..."

Colli: "Oh yeah, magic! Get out your wands, guys! They'll never take us alive!"

BF (to herself): "They won't take YOU alive, if it helps me get away! Hehehe!"

The Cauldroneers, wands at the ready, adopt determined looks and prepare to fight. However, this determined look rapidly fades as they look around, trying to discern dragons through the black of the night.

Elfea: "Umm... where did those dragons go?"

Suddenly, a loud booming voice makes itself heard from somewhere above them.

LBV: "I wouldn't try that magic thing if I was you! You have no idea who you are messing with!"

BF: "I would say we're messing with a bunch of wusses. Show yourselves!"

There is a loud roar of anger from the skies. The cauldroneers gulp.

LBV(nervously): "Oh dear, I wish she hadn't said wusses. We won't be able to stop him now! We were supposed to take them alive..."

At this comment, three huge shadows descend from above the Cauldroneers. Elfea begins to cast a spell, but her voice trails away as she is seized with terror. The Cauldroneers form a circle, preparing to fight for their lives against their terrible foes. However, instead of surrounding them, the three huge dragons converge in the one spot, surrounding a previously unseen smaller shadow and grappling with it.

Pinky: "Calm down, Daffodil! They didn't call us wusses... they called us, er, winners! Mean, terrible, scary, winners!"

Moonbeam: "Yeah, we have to take them alive, remember? Your evil mistress's orders?"

There is a growling and rumbling from amidst the three dragons.

Sunshine: "No Daffodil, I think she would miss even one of them. I think you'd better leave them all intact!"

There is a loud howl of anger and rage. The three bigger dragons back away a little.

Pinky: "N-no, Daffodil, we're not telling you what to do! It's just, the evil mistress... she might be mad at you if you eat them!"

Moonbeam: "Yeah, you mightn't get a rub behind the ears, Daf..."

The growling gradually subsides and the three bigger dragons breathe a sigh of relief. In the meantime, seizing upon the opportunity presented by the argument, the Cauldroneers have started to sneak away. The dragons quickly fly over and surround them.

Sunshine: "Oho, trying to get away eh? Nobody escapes from Daffodil!"

Elfea goes pale at hte mention of this name, as do the other Cauldroneers. Even Draco puts aside his usual contempt for a moment to gulp.

Draco: "Did you just say D..D..Daf..?"

Sunshine(grinning): "That's right, Daffodil."

The three big dragons part ranks and Daffodil comes forward, looking up into Draco's eyes from about knee level with undisguised malice. Draco goes pale and faints, Colli forgetting her fear momentarily to catch him. Resting him on the ground, she goes up to Daffodil and leans down, looking him straight in the eyes.

Colli: "Look, Daffodil or no Daffodil, nobody is mean to my Draco! Why I oughtta..."

Colli breaks off and backs away nervously as Daffodil casts a glance aside and incinerates a nearby boulder just with a glance. He looks back at Colli with an evil grin.

Colli (grinning nervously): "On the other hand, er, he only fainted. That's hardly your fault, is it?"

Elfea looks at the dragons, nervously twiddling her wand.

Elfea: "We know enough not to mess with Daffodil! What are you planning to do with us, evil fiends?"

Pinky: "Luckily for you, we are supposed to take you alive, to the abode of our mistress, Miss Amelia!"

Moonbeam: "I don't know if that is really all that lucky... some things are worse than being eaten by a dragon!"

BF (eagerly): "Really? Ooh, like what?"

Moonbeam (grinning): " Oh, plenty of things! Death by dragon is generally painless, there are plenty more excruciating things than that! Fingernails on a blackboard, Chinese Water Torture..."

BF nods approvingly, making notes for when they could be useful on a later occasion.

Sunshine: "Guys, we really don't have time for this: I think we should take them back to the mistress!"

Daffodil growls his agreement, thinking ahead to a nice rub behind the ears. Under threat from Daffodil, the captured Cauldroneers climb aboard the bigger dragons, BF shoving a dazed Stardust aboard Moonbeam with the help of Elfea as she enthusiastically resumed her morbid discussion with the dragon. Colli climbs on the back of Sunshine, cradling an unconscious Draco. Daffodil circles around and prepared to give the orders to leave when he stops for a moment. He thinks back to the words of his mistress...

*cackle* Bring me the cauldroneers, and their little wind-up turtle too! *cackle.*

Daffodil growls at the Cauldroneers, who look at him, confused and also fearful.

Elfea: "Um, I beg your pardon?"

Sunshine: "Uh, he wants to know where the turtle is."

Colli: "Turtle? What turtle?"

Moonbeam (snarling): "Don't play wise with us, girl! Where's the wind-up turtle?"

Elfea: " We don't know what you're talking about!"

BF: "Yeah we do, guys! He means that Watson fella! Oh, he's in the land of Oz at the moment."

Elfea and Colli glare at BF for betraying Watson's location. She smiles at them angelically.

BF: "Well, he did ask!"

Daffodil growls at the other dragons, ordering Moonbeam and Sunshine to return to the evil lair with the prisoners. Pinky looks at Daffodil.

Pinky: "So, we're going after the turtle then? Should we call for backup?"

Daffodil snorts a laugh at the thought of being outsmarted by a wind-up turtle, and signals for things to continue as planned. As Sunshine and Moonbeam are about to take off, BF calls back to Daffodil.

BF: "Um, Daffodil? If you get hungry on the way to Oz, there's a dead guy around bythe name of Cedric that you can probably get away with eating. He quit our group, so he's fair game!"

Elfea (shocked): "BLOODFIRE!"

BF: "What? He's dead. It's not going to hurt him any!"

Sunshine and Moonbeam set off, Elfea still glaring at BF, Stardust singing happily, Colli stroking the brow of a fainted Draco. Once they have left, Daffodil nods to Pinky and they take off, in search of the land of Oz and a wind-up turtle.

Will Daffodil succeed in his terrible quest and capture poor Watson? Probably.
Will the rest of the Cauldroneers manage to make a death-defying escape from the other dragons? Probably not just yet!

What? I'm not supposed to answer these questions? They're rhetorical, and used to build reader interest for the next installment? Oh. Oh. Um, just forget I said anything and stay tuned!

[Stardust]

Blah!Nothing's happening.:)

[Xazinon]

Well, this thread has certainly gone quiet. Hmm, perhaps I will add a little more and we shall see what happens! :)

---------------------------------

With Daffodil and Pinkie closing in on them, time is running out for Xaz and Watson. Will they suffer hideous torture at the hands of the nasty dragon? Will they ever make it to the Emerald City? Strangely enough, this does not seem to be their major concern at the moment...

X: "I know I haven't seen the Wizard of Oz in a long time, but I get the distinct feeling that not all is right here. I just can't quite put my finger on it.. what do you think, Toto, er, Watson?"

W: "WOOF! ER, I MEAN, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. BY THE WAY, DO YOU HAVE A BONE?"

X: "Oh, yeah, sure pal. In the bag."

Xaz/Dorothy looks around distractedly as Watson/Toto rummages, taking note of the surroundings. They were certainly on the yellow brick road like they were supposed to be, but there was something amiss...

Lost in thought, Xaz is oblivious to a loud clanking behind him until a hand taps him on the shoulder. Blinking, he turns around to see a large metal-clad figure.

X: "Yes, what is it?"

Metal Clad figure: "Milady, thou art looking most thoughtful. Dost thou envision a problem with our route? Verily, we are still following the road of gold: I see no reason for our stopping at this juncture!"

X: "Yes, I suppose you're right, Tinman! We may as well keep going!"

MCF: "Tinman?! I pray thee, milady, do not mock a knight of the Round Table! There is only so much slight to our honour that we can take!"

X: "You're a what now? I thought you were the Tinman!"

The metal clad figure draws himself up regally.

MCF: " Whoever this Tinman is, it is not I! I am Sir Lancelot, knight of the Round Table in the court of King Arthur!"

X: "Lancelot eh? Oh, right! I remember you! You were the one chasing after the Queen, Guinevere! That was hardly knightly of you eh?"

Xaz nudges Lancelot. Lancelot blushes and scratches his head.

Lancelot: "Verily, twas I. But I couldn't help it, she was hot!"

Xaz nods wisely.

X: "Ah, fair enough then. But... what are you doing here? I could have sworn you weren't in this story! "

At this, Watson/Toto rolls back up to Xaz/Dorothy, having finished the bone.

W: "WOOF! WO.. DON'T YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING, XAZ? THE STORY LINES HAVE ALL BEEN MESSED UP! ALL THE STORIES ARE UNRAVELLING AND MERGING INTO EACH OTHER..OF! IT MUST B..."

Watson breaks off, having spied a rabbit and been drawn by some instinct to chase it. Xaz watches him go with a giggle.

X: "Oh, DO be careful Toto! Yknow, that tale of yours about the merging storylines seems a bit far-fetched, but it would explain why Lancelot was here instead of a tinman!"

Lancelot: "I think the small dog speaks the truth.. this does not seem right. I have the strangest feeling that I need a heart, yet there is one in my chest already beating! Most peculiar..."

Watson comes back, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth.

W: "WOOF! IT ALSO EXPLAINS WHY ASLAN OVER THERE IS HIDING BEHIND A TREE! GRRR! RRRR!"

Watson stops talking to knaw at Lancelot's metal clad feet, wagging his doggy/turtely tail .

X: "Wow, Aslan huh? How ya doing, Aslan? Don't hide behind the tree, it's perfectly safe!"

Xaz gestures good-naturedly in Aslan's direction, who cautiously edges out from behind the tree. Xaz pats him.

X: "There's a good boy!"

Aslan: "Thankyou, Daughter of Eve, or is it Son of Adam? This is all so confusing. And scary!"

Aslan looks around nervously. Xaz gives him a reassuring pat.

X: "There there! There's a big strong knight here who can protect you! You've got nothing to worry about! Hey, Lancelot, this guy is royalty, yknow! You probably should bow or something!"

L(going to one knee): "Royalty? My sword is yours, my liege!"

X: "See? We're all friends here! Now, we just have to decide what to do!"

L: "Find the Holy Grail! I mean, a heart.."

A: "Save Narnia, er, get some courage?"

X: "All's I want to do is get home! I mean, umm, find the evil-doers behind all this and save the day! Or do I mean home? Ugh!"

W: "WOOF! YKNOW, I BET IF WE FOLLOW THE STORY, THINGS WILL WORK THEMSELVES OUT... I HAVE A SUSPICION THAT THE NEFARIOUS MISS AMELIA IS NOT TOO FAR FROM HERE!"

Something in Watson's phrasing causes Xaz to stop stock still. Xaz's vision suddenly goes all blurry as he has a flashback...

Daffodil perked up and began to growl viciously. With him flew dragons Sunshine, Moonbeam and Pinkie, both ten times Daffodil's size, but not as vicious as the little (kinda cute) beast!

Rave: Fly, my pretties, fly, FLY!


Xaz's vision clears as he looks inspired.


X: "Could it be? Could Miss Amelia be the Wicked Witch of the West?! Or is she just a cunning plagiarist, trying to throw me off the trail? Is she causing all these storyline disturbances? Well, there's only one way to find out! We must travel to the castle of the wicked witch and find out for ourselves!"

L: "Wicked? Ooh, I'm just itching to smite something evil! Let's go!"

A: "Sounds awfully dangerous, but I'm a huge lion, so I don't know why that worries me!"

W: "WOOF!"

X: "Hey, yknow what? I think I see a castle over there! Could that be the place?"

With a large jolt, Watson, Lancelot, Xaz and Aslan suddenly find themselves in the middle of deep space, in a space ship that looks remarkably like the Millenium Falcon.

Lancelot: "That's not a castle. It's a space station."

Watson: "It's too big to be a space station!"

Xaz: "I've got a bad feeling about this...

Aslan: "RAAAARRR!"

There is another jolt and they find themselves back on the yellow brick road. They look around, understandably dazed and confused.

W: "WOOF! THIS IS JUST TOO WEIRD...."

X: "Oh well! At least it's not boring! Onwards, fellows!"

The party gradually regain some sense of order and begin to trudge their way down the road, looking about very cautiously. Watson moves up alongside Xaz.

W: "WOOF WO..DAMMIT, I MEAN XAZ! ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?"

X: "Are you thinking what happened to the scarecrow?"

Watson falls over in astonishment.

W: "THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING, ACTUALLY! THAT'S AMAZING!"

X: "Not really. I read it off your whiteboard."

Xaz grins. Watson clubs Xaz with his whiteboard, causing Xaz to yelp.

X: "I deserved that, but it was worth it!"

Xaz stops grinning abruptly upon hearing a rustling in the bushes. The party stops and gets into a protective huddle, preparing to defend themselves. The rustling stops, and a mouse walks out onto the path in front of them, waving. It goes up to Lancelot and looks at him in awe.

Mouse: "Oooh, look how shiny you are! Narf! Brain? Come and see this! Brain? Brain?"

The mouse looks around, rather puzzled, then laughs.

Mouse: "I don't suppose you've seen Brain around anywhere have you, shiny man?"

Xaz: "Oh, hey, I know you! You're Pinky!"

Pinky: "Zort!"

Xaz looks at Watson, who nods at him.

W: "I THINK WE FOUND OUR SCARECROW, WOOF!"

[I] Meanwhile, in the distance, two ominous shapes appear on the horizon, heading in the direction of the unsuspecting group. Whatever could they be? Is it two washing machines who have lost their way? Is it the two dragons, Daffodil and Pinkie? Hey, wait a minute: Pinkie? Is Pinky Pinkie or Pinky? Or is that other Pinky Pinkie? Ugh. I think I need to lie down.....

Stay tuned! Wait, I said that last time, um, how about just don't go away then, hmm?

[Ravenclaw]

OMG, I was just thinking about Pinky and the Brain last night! LOL!

Um, let's see if the amnesia-ridden Miss Amelia can aid this storyline along...

The dreaded Britney Spears and her confused-yet-somehow-not-so-confused friend and *cough* ally, Miss Amelia, whom she taught to be evil and is becoming more evil than the dreaded Britney, looked around the dragon stables, preplexed.

Amelia: Um, that was one useless run-on sentance.

Britney: yeah...

And then they were smited by the hand of the all powerful narrator in the form of a hideous, scaley, flapping trout.

:trout:

Britney & Amelia: OUCH!

The narrator smiles, satisfied, for he has reminded the evil-doers that as the narrator, he can say or do or violate any grammatical laws as he pleases, seeing as he is the all powerful narrator, without which this story would be at a standstill (which it already is at, but that's not the point) and he is needed to write useless run-on sentances that add absolutely nothing to the story and are just for the narrator's amusement.

:)

Amelia: Right... Are you quite done?

Quite.

Amelia: Thank you. Well, Ms Spears, what on earth should we do now?

Britney: Wait for someone else to decide for us?

Amelia: Been doing that too long... It's getting awfully boring, being frozen in time, waiting to be written about... say, let's cause some havoc!

Britney: I thought we did that, you know, whith the dragons and the Cauldroneers...

Amelia: Speaking of which, they should be here shortly, should they not?

The two evil feinds wait for the narrator to deliver the cauldroneers to them.

Amelia: You misspelled fiends.

... Quiet, you!

Britney: Well, where're the Cauldroneers already? We said the key line, that's your cue to bring them!

The narrator pauses to think at the possibilities of letting the evil FIENDS (:p Amelia!) wait a bit longer, for the narrator's entertainment.

Amelia: You're supposed to be entertaining us, narrator guy! That's the point! You tell a story, people read it, you don't talk about yourself so often...

Britney: And why speak in the third person? It gets pretty annoying.

The narrator ignores the feeble threats and begs of the lowly characters in his story.

Amelia: Feeble threats and begs? What begs? And our threats are hardly evil!

Britney: And we aren't LOWLY characters! And this isn't YOUR story either!

The narrator reminds the boring, lowly, ignorant characters, that in a story, the narrator explains (and decides) what is to happen next, therefor, in short, plays God, making the characters do whatever they want to do. As such, he is entitled to claim the story as his own, and thus including the characters, making them lowly. You are my slaves :D

Amelia: Why I oughta...

Bored, the narrator waves his hand and Miss Amelia, aka Ravenclaw, dances a quaint little jig around a stack of hey.

Amelia: ... Argh... Doo doo dee doo doo... ARGH!

Britney: I don't have time for this. You just wasted precious seconds of these people's time by toying with us! What is WRONG with you???

Very well...
As Britney stands on her head and Amelia picks at the fungus growing between her toes, Moonbeam and Sunshine land in the field outside the dragon stables.

Britney: Ow... all the blood is rushing to my head...

Amelia: Ewie! Ack, it's about time! Dragons! What do you have for me, my pretties! *cackle*

Moonbeam and Sunshine approach, the Cauldroneers blindfolded and bound (because BloodFire kept threatening to throw Stardust overboard, and it seemed she would have gone along willingly saying "look at all the pretty shapes and colors!") and gagged (Because Colli would not shut UP about Draco and his supposed injuries!)

Moonbeam: Uh, I don't remember this castle being here...

Amelia: Castle? Oh, yes, that's a new adition to my estate. You like? It's got this Frankenstein thing going on...

Britney: Ahem!

Amelia: Yes, right, to business!

Amelia un-gags the first Cauldroneer she finds.

Elfea: (who had been mumbling) I know that voice... I KNOW that VOICE!

Amelia: Of course you do, deary! I am only the most evil, the most conniving, the most smartest evil genious in all the land!

Britney: Hey! Stop stealing my fire!

Amelia (turning to Britney): I'm sorry, honey, but I just don't need you any more. You were fun to begin with, and helped me out a lot, but as time went on, I've realized that you are nothing with out me! I have all the money, I have all the property, I have all the great plans, AND the better singing voice! You're nothing but a washed up hack whose trying to use me to get some glory! Well, sorry, toots, but you're outa here! Moonbeam? Would you do the honors?

Moonbeam: Gladly...

Britney's eyes widened as Moonbeam advanced, dropping the Cauldroneers on his back to the ground.

Britney: No... no, ANYTHING but THAT!

The dragon put his muzzle close to the terrible singer and opened his mouth...

And out of it, came the most horrible sound they had ever heard! Britney's own voice. All the Cauldroneers screamed as they were too tightly bound to cover their ears. Earmuffs making her immune, Amelia laughed evilly.

Amelia: Ah, you see Spears, my dragon here has swallowed one of your CD's. It is my most powerful torture weapon.

Britney: AAAH! No, please, the recording studios, it's them, I sound like an angel in concert, in real life, I swear I do!

Amelia: Right. Take her away, Moonbeam. I must attend to my Cauldroneers!

Amelia approached Sunshine and the Cauldroneers on the floor, Elfea still muttering about the familiarity of her voice.

Elfea: It can't be... it isn't...

The first to be un-blindfolded, Elfea gasps.

Elfea: It IS!

Amelia grins as the others try to demand what it is Elfea was seeing through their gags. They were screaming in panic... All except BF, who kept struggling against her binds, too busy to notice anything else going on around her.

BF: What's all the screaming for?

Elfea: She's... She's ALIVE!

And the narrator laughs evilly, seeing as there has to be at least ONE evil laugh in this and Amelia/Ravenclaw is not complying.

Gwa ha ha ha ha....

[Xazinon]

Bloodfire mentioned this very thread in Slytherin house I think, and I thought I really should try and add some more to it! It's hard with only two people though: you other people should try your hand at it! :)

Hehehe, the good ol' narrator is always good for some comic relief isn't he, Ravenclaw? Very good! :)

Now, on with the show....
*************************
When we left the scene, Elfea was stunned by the revelation of Miss Amelia as being behind their capture. The others were unaware of this turn of events, leaving Elfea to proclaim the revelation to all. She was all like 'she's alive she's alive'!
And then I, the narrator, was all like 'evil laugh evil laugh evil laugh'! And then it was all like the scene was fading, and stuff.... Ahem. Anyways, to the story...

Elfea: "She's ALIVE!"

BF: "Yes, you just said that. Who's alive? Joan of Arc?"

Elfea: "She who!"

BF: "Who she who?"

Elfea: "She who who!"

BF: "She who what?"

Elfea: "She who, um, yknow, fell down that big chasm!"

BF: "Big chasm? Ohh! HER! I thought you meant someone important, the way you were carrying on!"

Miss Amelia, having watched this exchange, stamps her foot indignantly.

Amelia: "Hey! I'm very important! I have your lives in the very palms of my hands! Just for that, you can stay blindfolded!

Amelia removes the blindfolds of Draco, Colli and Stardust. Stardust gives her a cheerful wave. Colli blinks and gives Amelia a glance, before turning her attention to her poor Draco. Noticing a distinct lack of fear, Amelia moves back and looms over them.

Amelia: "Aha! Now you see the true evil mastermind behind your capture! Cower in fear before me!"

Elfea: "How can we cower if we're tied up? i'm sure if you just untied us..."

Amelia: "Oho! You'd like that wouldn't you! Then you'd use your wands to magic an escape for yourself!"

Elfea: "Okay, okay.. well, how about ungagging the others then? That way you can at least hear the fear in their voices."

Amelia: "Ooh, good idea!"

Amelia ungags the others, who start speaking almost immediately.

Bloodfire: "Hmph, I think I prefer the view in the blindfold anyway."

Stardust: "Oranges!"

Colli: "Hi Rav... awww, my poor Draco! Are you okay darling?"

Draco: "Er, I'm fine. I just got taken by surprise, that's all: that dragon wasn't so scary!"

Sunshine snorts a puff of smoke in Draco's direction. Draco goes pale and sits there very quietly, Colli looking on in concern.

Amelia: "Good boy, Sunshine! Now you lot, cower: I'm being evil here! Don't make me get Moonbeam to sing again!"

The Cauldroneers all break off and stare at her in horror, except for Bloodfire, who contents herself with sort of gazing in her general direction blindfolded, trying to look casual.

Elfea: "You WOULDN'T!"

Amelia: "Oh yes I would!"

Colli: "Wow, you really are evil! Who would have thought?"

Miss Amelia grins wickedly and rubs her hands together.

Amelia: "Excellent. Now that I have your attention, I shall unveil the hideous plans I have in store for you! I assure you, they're very hideous!"

Stardust: "Hideous! Hee! You mean hide and seek! Me first!"

Stardust hides her eyes behind her hands and giggles feverishly.

Amelia: "Geez, she's totally lost it, hasn't she?"

Elfea nods sadly in agreement.

Amelia: "Ahem, anyways, my hideous plans! Sunshine, pass me my Hideous Plans folder."

Sunshine: "Your, er, Hideous Plans folder?"

Amelia (irritated): "Yes yes. Yknow, the menacing red one with the words Hideous Plans stamped on it in scary writing!"

Sunshine (going through a filing cabinet): "Er, I have Nefarious Schemes, Evil World-Conquering Devices and Pudding Recipes, but no Hideous Plans, oh evil mistress. Are you sure it's in here?"

Amelia: "Yes, of course it is! I had it just before. Britney and I were making some last minute notes.... wait a minute! Britney! Why, that no good [censored]..."

The last part of Miss Amelia's sentence has been edited out due to it being too strong for this narrator's delicate palate. Suffice it to say she swore like a sailor for a good minute or two without repeating herself: such language from a lady!

Bloodfire: "Aww, c'mon, you edited out the best part! I didn't know there was so many ways of describing someone as a [censored]: very impressive!"

BF: "Hey! You edited me too! You can't do that you lovable rogue !"

BF: "Oi! I didn't call you a lovable rogue! I called you a handsome devil!

Bloodfire starts choking on her own rage. The narrator smiles smugly. Miss Amelia, having calmed down somewhat, sets about planning her next move.

Amelia: "How could she steal my Hideous Plans? I still have my Nefarious Schemes, but it's just not the same. I think I shall have to go and get them back. "

Miss Amelia grins and an evil glint starts to develop in her eyes.

Amelia: "Sunshine, get on the phone and tell Moonbeam to search Miss Amelia for my Hideous Plans. Tell him that if she has the plans, leave them on her... I'm coming over to beat them out of her myself! That'll teach her to mess with Miss Amelia!"

Sunshine: "Gosh, that's pretty nasty Miss!"

He wipes a tear from his eye and looks at her adoringly.

Sunshine: I'm so proud of you!"

The Cauldroneers, having witnessed these events, start to look a little nervous.

Elfea: "Er, Ravenc, um, I mean, Miss Amelia?"

Amelia(glaring): "What?"

Elfea: "Um, if you don't have your Hideous Plans, does that mean we can go? I mean, we're obviously of no help here!"

Elfea looks imploringly at Miss Amelia. The other Cauldroneers nod fervently in agreement with Elfea and cast their own looks at Miss Amelia. Miss Amelia looks at them all, glaring, before breaking into a grin that is unmistakedly of the evil kind.

Amelia: "Oh yes, you can go.. go hang over a giant boiling cauldron of lead! Mwahahahahahha!"

Miss Amelia produces a wand from somewhere and magics the Cauldroneers exactly where she said she would: hanging over a giant boiling cauldron of lead. Miss Amelia walks up to the side of the cauldron and cackles.

Amelia: "Not so talkative now, are we? You are now suspended over a giant cauldron of boiling lead, each of you attached separately to one giant rope which shall burn a little bit through periodically on the half hour using a complex series of mirrors and the sun's rays. Or, lasers in case of a solar eclipse. Whatever. Within a matter of hours, the Cauldroneers will be no more, ironically undone by the very thing they're named for: a cauldron! And I assure you, this one is NOT leaky!"

Miss Amelia walks away cackling wickedly, leaving the Cauldroneers to their awful fate. She breaks into a hum, happy with her evil wordplay and wondering if perhaps she could do without her Hideous Plans folder after all, before shaking her head and grinning.

Amelia(to herself): "No, I need that folder back: it's the principle of the thing! No one, and I mean, NO ONE, crosses Miss Amelia and gets away with it!"

Miss Amelia turns to address Sunshine, who is still looking at her tearfully, beaming with pride.

Amelia: "Have you contacted Moonbeam?"

Sunshine: "Yes, evil mistress. Your orders are being carried out."

Amelia: "Excellent, excellent! I'm on my way. You stay here and guard the cauldron: enjoy the show! There's popcorn in the cupboard in you want it."

Sunshine: "Yes Miss! Thankyou Miss!"

Amelia adopts a scowl and stalks off in the direction of Moonbeam and Britney, looking very menacing indeed. Sunshine waves a hankerchief after her and dabs at her eyes.

Sunshine(sighing): "If only Daffodil were here to see this. He'd be so proud!"

Sunshine turns around to wave at the imprisoned Cauldroneers.

Sunshine: "All right up there, folks?"

Elfea: "It's a little hot!"

Sunshine: "Great! Just great! This should be good!"

The Cauldroneers look at each other helplessly. Bloodfire, still blindfolded, shakes her head in admiration.

BF: "I got to hand it to her, this is pretty evil! Even I'd be proud of this one!"

The other Cauldroneers sigh and look around hopefully for any sign of salvation. Is this the end of their wacky adventures????

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

Xaz: "Look, guys! Those damsels are in distress! We have to do something!"

Lancelot: "Verily, we must save them!"

Xaz: "Okay! Just one more game, then we'll save them! Ready?"

ALL: "Rock paper scissors! Rock paper scissors! Rock paper scissors....Aha!"

Will the menangerie of animals and strangely attired humans stop playing Rock Paper Scissors and get there in time to save the damsels? Will Miss Amelia wreak her awful vengeance on Britney? Does 2 and 2 indeed make 4? All these answers and more, next time!

:)